Free Falling Awake by T.A Richards Neville

he had so many options, he didn’t have to settle down with just one person. Who could blame him for wanting freedom?
      “What was that about back there at the bar? That fight?” I felt like the way he dragged me out of there, I was in some way responsible.
      “It was nothing. Too much alcohol and people run their mouths when they have no idea what they are talking about.”
      “Was it my fault?” I asked, without trying to make myself sound like I believed the world orbited solely around me.
      “No, it wasn’t your fault.” He broke eye contact, and climbed off me straightening himself up. “I’m gonna go now.”
      It was my fault then.
      “Okay.” I righted myself and smoothed out my hair.
      “Will you be okay?” he asked. I still felt drunk. From Caleb as well as the alcohol, but I was over the worst of it, and there was nothing more sobering than the cold hard truth that him and me- we just weren’t happening. 
      “I’ll be fine.”
    I followed him to the front door and we stood in the darkness, the only light coming from the moon as he held the door open ready to leave. I didn’t want him to go and my heart actually hurt.
      “Caleb,” I said, looking up at his large silhouette, framed by the silver moonlight.
    “Yeah?”
    I stood a moment moving the words around in my head, building up the courage to say them aloud. He reached his hand out and brushed it through my hair. I felt like we were saying goodbye and I didn’t like it.
      “Just know,” I said, biting my lip. “I will always want to be more than just your friend.”
    He bent down and kissed me. “I’ll see you at school,” he said, then turned and left. I watched as the truck pulled out of the drive, its headlights sweeping over the house and disappearing down the street away from me leaving my heart wide open.

Jacksons Beach
     
     
    I t was Friday lunchtime and it had been six days since I’d last seen Caleb. He hadn’t even bothered to show up for school. According to my dad, he’d been spending a lot of time at the garage, and I was once again bombarded with the unwanted image of Caleb surrounded by his female fan base. I shook my head as if that would actually make it go away, and Mr Kelly who sat next to me gave me a questioning look.
      We were in the library discussing the itinerary for the trip to Paris with around thirty other students, juniors and seniors, and I didn’t even know all of their names. But there was one name I definitely did know and I wasn’t glad to see him.
    Nathan sat at the table farthest away chewing his lip persistently, occasionally glancing my way trying to make eye contact, but I was having none of it. Apparently attending this trip wasn’t optional for him but mandatory due to the fact that he was flunking big time. Now that, I could believe. It was common knowledge that there was a village out there somewhere deprived of its idiot.
      My lip was more or less healed now, leaving no trace of what actually happened that night, but I still couldn’t stand the sight of him. I couldn’t say the same for him though. His lip was still scabby and puffed up. Serves him right.
      “So, you will all be assigned a number from one to five,” Mr Kelly addressed the group. Most of them looked on with total disinterest and others, obviously the smarter kids, whispered to each other excitedly at the prospect of actually getting to go to Paris.
       “Ones will be together, two, three together etcetera.” He pointed to every single one of us shouting out a number and when it came to Nathan, he sat up as if all his Christmases had come at once when he realised he had been given the same number as me. I groaned inwardly and made a mental note to speak to Mr Kelly about this later.
      “Even though I want you all to have fun, the fundamentals of this trip are education, education, education,” Mr Kelly said, bringing his hands together repeatedly. “I have grouped you accordingly