terrifyingly worried.
"What happened?"
"Nothing, just a bad dream" I don't
feel like talking, the memories of last night are still too recent.
I turn and try to fall asleep again.
"Oh shit, Alex!" Jay is right over me,
he takes all my bedclothes away from me and I can see from the look
in his eyes that he is terrified. I look down, my bed is covered in
mud. "What is this?"
The almost black, wet mud blinds me
for a second and freezes my heart, turning me into a lifeless body.
It looks like he is standing in front of the dirt that will, one
day, cover my body for good.
I try to explain to him that the
dreams are getting more and more real ever since I learned about
him and Elizabeth. I know he is furious because I didn't tell him,
and for some reason, I feel bad about it.
"Look, I'm sure it has to do with all
this" I say, trying to calm him down. When I check again, the mud
is nothing but a distant memory. "You see? I'm alright." It feels
so weird to be talking to him in this way, that's the tone he has
been using with me for the past days, it must have been exhausting
for him.
Jay looks at me, not convinced at all
and ready to do anything for me.
I get up and get ready to leave. I try
my best to ignore Jay's worrying looks and walk out the room with
nothing more than a shy waving.
He is not out waiting for me. I'm glad
he decided to stay in, or maybe just not to follow me. I need some
time on my own. I put on my headphones and start walking down to
the university. I don't really want to sit for an hour and a half
listening to Constance's continuous talking about mythology, but I
know that if I stay home I will spend the whole day thinking about
yesterday, and the dream.
I turn my iPod on, and with it I can
make my fears and thoughts disappear for a while. Thank you New
Jersey, it's my first thought when Bruce Springsteen fills my head,
his music makes me walk faster and takes my mind away from the last
hours.
When I walk into the class Constance
is already there, sitting on her table, and clearly waiting for
me.
"I hear yesterday didn't turn out to
be exceptional."
"It appears to be the case, yes" I say
trying to imitate her voice. I don't succeed, but I'm glad I dared
to speak to her like that.
"Is there any particular reason for
the task to be so difficult to fulfill?" I want to throw a chair
right to her face.
"Focus on the class, will you?" I'm
furious again, I don't think I have been so constantly irritable in
my life. Ever since I discovered Elizabeth's true nature, keeping
my temper is becoming more and more difficult.
Why does Constance talk like that? Who
does she think she is? I might have to die in a couple of months,
without being able to do anything to stop it, but that certainly
doesn't give her the right to treat me as something you could pick
up at a grocery store.
"This conversation is not yet
finished."
I look at her, and smile. It is
finished
Everyone starts to sit on their
chairs, and Constance looks at me with a dangerous look, I may
regret this encounter in a matter of days, or minutes even. But
right now, I feel like I have achieved something. I won a
fight.
"I hope that all your essays are on my
desk by the end of the class" Constance is still looking at me, and
I start to feel the sweat coming down my neck. The essay is not due
until the last day of class. What is she doing? I hear some
murmuring. Everyone in the class, including Ingrid, takes out some
papers from their bags. "I understand, Mr. Stills, you have not
done your essay" she clicks her tongue.
"The essay was due the last day of
class• I whisper
"Sorry my dear, what was that?" she
comes closer and puts her hand over her ear, pretending she didn't
hear me.
I repeat my exact same
words.
"Oh but you are wrong, Mr. Stills,
again" she looks around "when was the due date for the essay?" She
is addressing the whole classroom.
"Today" everyone sounds like if they
were under some sort of spell, and then I remember a