Free A Cry For Hope by Beth Rinyu

persona right away. My mother was unable to wipe the smile from her face. It made me happy to see her so giddy. I looked at Nick and raised my eyebrow at the two of them. He smiled, obviously having the same thoughts.
    My mother was busy showing Nick’s dad the recipe for her mint brownies, which happened to be Jamie's favorite. I sighed, and poured Nick and me a glass of wine.
    “Let's go sit outside,” I said, motioning for him to follow me out the back door.
    “The pizzas will be ready in five minutes!” my mother shouted from the kitchen.
    We sat down on the glider in comfortable silence. I looked up in the oak tree to see the cardinal sitting on a lower branch.
    “Look,” I whispered to Nick as I pointed.
    He tilted his head to see what I was pointing at. “Oh yeah, a cardinal,” He clearly was not as mesmerized by it as I was because he quickly changed the subject. “I sent Angie an email, letting her know that I'm working on it and that I still love her very much.”
    I smiled. “Good job, Abate! The worst feeling in the world is thinking that the person you love the most doesn't love you back.”
    “Is that how you're feeling, Hope?”
    I looked straight ahead and nodded. “He had an affair.” I sighed deeply. “For all I know, he may still be sleeping with her.  Today was the first day that I talked to him since the day I walked out the door. My heart is ripped to shreds and it's killing me not knowing if he's feeling the same. He wants to meet for lunch tomorrow and I’m scared.”
    “What are you scared of?”
    “I’m just afraid that we’re not ready for this yet. I feel like we need more time before we even begin to talk. Or maybe it’s because I’m afraid of what he has to say. Maybe he doesn’t want to try and make this work. Maybe he’s just going to tell me it’s over. Either way, I’m terrified.  My name should be “‘Hopeless’ instead of Hope,” I said, trying my best attempt at a joke.
    “Hope, you are not hopeless at all. You've just been through a lot and you've changed because of it. You will never be the same person that you were before you lost your son, just like I will never be the same person I was before -.” He couldn't finish. He took a deep breath and regained his composure. “We both need to accept the new people that we've become before we can expect anyone else to accept us. Because, no matter how hard we wish for it, that person that we use to be is never coming back.”
    I pushed a stray hair behind my ear. “Yeah, I guess you're right.”
    He smiled and took my hand in his. “So, Hope, have you ever been camping?” he asked, trying to shift to a lighter topic of conversation.
    I began to laugh hysterically. “Once, and it is so not for me!”
    “Ah, why not?”
    “Too many bugs, sleeping on the ground, wild animals. Shall I continue?”
    “But that was the old Hope. Maybe the new Hope just might like it!”
    “Old or new....trust me, she won't.” I said, crinkling my nose.
    “Well, actually, ashamed as I am to admit it, it’s kind of camping in luxury. My dad and I are going to his house on the lake in upstate New York for a few days. Four bedrooms, microwave, dishwasher, running water, and even a sixty-inch flat screen in the living room.” He smiled.
    “Ummm, I wouldn't call that camping. That’s more like a vacation!”
    “Well, we light a fire at night and go fishing for our dinner. Unless, of course, the fish aren't biting. Then we just go to the store up the street and buy the fish,” he said, flashing me his deep dimpled grin.
    “Nick, a big bad Marine like you doesn’t rough it when he goes camping? You should be ashamed of yourself!” I teased.
    He began to chuckle. “Hey, don’t let that get out. I have a reputation to protect.”
    “You’re secret is safe with me. I pinkie promise,” I said, intertwining his pinkie in mine, just like we use to do in the first grade.
    He shook his head and chuckled. “God, I missed you,