Free Good Night, Sleep Tight Workbook by Kim West Page A

minutes to show him what to expect. Put a positive spin on it. Explain that the clock will tell him when it’s okay to get out of bed and start the day. Bonus for you: Your child will no longer spend mornings asking, “Is it time to get up yet? Is it time to get up yet?” If you set it for 6:00 a.m. and your child starts to sleep through it, then set the time later and enjoy the extra sleep time yourself!
     
    If you don’t like the idea of the music you can purchase an appliance timer (digital ones are presumed to be more accurate) and attach it to a light in your child’s room. Explain to her that the light will turn on when it’s time to get up. I have successfully used this strategy with children 18 months to 2½ years since the music is often too difficult for this age group to comprehend.
     

Stickers and Sleep Charts
     
    Kids this age love stickers, stamps, and stars, and tend to respond really well to getting them as a reward for accomplishment. Young kids are happy to receive a star or sticker to press onto a piece of paper or to wear on their clothes, so they can show it off all day. As an extra incentive, you can let your child choose her own reward stickers.
     
    An older child will usually go for a more complex reward system: a chart with squares for each night of a week, for example, that she can decorate and that shows off her track record. Some parents give an assortment of stickers but save the special sparkly gold one as a reward at the end of a good week. To make a weekly chart, turn the paper horizontally, put the days of the week along the top, and the manners down the left, or short, side. (There is a sample chart on page 103 and a blank one you can tear out, copy, and use on page 104.)
     
    Choose four or more “manners” that best apply to your child . I call them manners, rather than rules, because manners connote expected behavior and earning praise. Also, it’s a reminder that we want to incorporate manners in our life all the time, not just when we are getting stickers.
     
    You can change the manners over time if you need to, but not so often that you confuse your child about her goals. Use positive terms— do ’s , not don’t ’s. In other words, say “Lie quietly in bed” instead of “Don’t make noise in bed.” Here are a few examples:
    • “Lie quietly in bed.” (This means no shouting or yelling; talking or humming quietly is okay.)
    • “Put yourself to sleep without Mommy or Daddy lying down with you.”
    • “Put yourself back to sleep during the night without Mommy or Daddy lying down with you.”
    • “Stay quietly in bed until the wake-up music comes on.”
     
    In the beginning, include one easy-to-achieve goal so that your child is guaranteed at least one star and the positive feedback to go with it—such as “Cooperate at bedtime.” This is a competence builder. It helps your child feel he can live up to the new sleep expectations, that it’s not too hard for him. Raise the bar as he improves. Tell him he’s so very, very good at getting that sticker that he now has a new manner to focus on.
     
    Review her sleep manners every night at bedtime , even if your child doesn’t seem interested, and review them again promptly the next morning. Give her lots of hugs and praise along with the stickers; after a particularly successful night, you can even offer her a bonus one to wear on her jacket or back of her hand to show to Grandma, the babysitter, her preschool teacher, o r the bank teller. After a not-so-g reat night, don’t say or do any-t hing to make her feel like she f ailed. Just tell her that it’s okay, s he can try again; gently remind h er of the behaviors you are look-i ng for and that you know she can do it.
     
    SLEEP-TIGHT TIP
     

     
    On occasion an older child will respond better to having a privilege taken away as an incentive for changing a sleep behavior (a favorite video, computer time, morning TV). It’s a last resort and should