Free Good Night, Sleep Tight Workbook by Kim West Page B

only be used with a child who’s really resisting making changes or seems not to care. If you have to go there, continue to offer lots of praise for what your child is doing right.
     
    A note about “big” rewards. Some parents like to promise t hem if a child earns a certain n umber of stickers. This isn’t usually necessary—the stickers, the praise, the hugs, and the sense of accomplishment are plenty. If you do want to give an extra reward, make it small and be realistic. If you promise a trip to Disney World, what are you going to do for a follow-up? You’re better off promising a trip to the pizza parlor!
     

The Sleep Lady® Shuffle for Children in a Bed
     
    I’ll be honest: It’s not as easy to do the Shuffle with a 3- to 5-year-old in a bed as it is with a 6-month-old in a crib. Even though the Shuffle is gentle and gradual, older children still get upset and fight the change. If you’ve got a little resister on your hands, don’t get angry, but don’t give up either. Keep reminding him that he can learn to put himself to sleep in his “big boy” bed without Mommy lying down with him.
     
    Throughout the Shuffle we try to minimize tears, but I can’t promise to eliminate them completely. Luckily, by the time our children are preschoolers, most of us find it easier to cope with their crying—especially since they’re now able to use words to communicate their wants and worries. To keep the tears in check, give lots of reassurance, lots of love, and lots of praise. In addition to reviewing rules and expectations every night at bedtime, you should also pay your child some sleep compliments during the day.
     

Nights One through Three
     
    Once bath, stories, songs, and review of his sleep manners are over, sit in a chair or on the floor next to your child’s bed . Stroke or pat him intermittently if he fusses or cries, but don’t do it constantly or he’ll form a new negative association and will need you to pat him constantly in order to fall asleep. Likewise, don’t let him hold your hand: You should control all physical contact. You can be a little more generous with touch the first night, when the whole system is new to him, but be careful about creating difficult new patterns, starting on the second night.
     
    Your child will almost certainly try to engage you. Try closing your eyes , which not only conveys an unambiguous message that it’s time to sleep, but also makes it easier for you to resist getting drawn into a conversation or philosophical discussion about the nature of the universe. Stay there until he falls asleep.
     
    Some children get quite upset if you won’t lie down with them. In desperation their parents might put their head down on the pillow next to their child. Try not to do it, and if you do, please limit it to the first night or you aren’t going to make much progress. You won’t be teaching him new skills if you’re sharing a pillow!
     
    Close your eyes and “sh-sh” him. If he continues to reach for you then you may have to scoot your chair away from the bed a bit so that you have to lean in to touch him.
     
    Remember, in three more nights you won’t be sitting next to him and won’t be able to touch him constantly. You want to be able to fade out of his sleep picture, not add to his fury with every change.
     
    Each time your child wakes during the night respond to him the same way. If he calls for you from his bed, or gets out of bed and comes to your room, take his hand and walk him back to his bed. Remind him that his wake-up music is not on yet and that he needs to lie quietly in his bed and go back to sleep. Sit quietly in your chair by his bed until he does.
     

NIGHTS ONE THROUGH THREE REMINDERS
     
    • Wake your child if he’s not awake by 7:30 a.m. the morning of the day you’ll begin sleep coaching.
    • Make sure your child gets a good nap on the day of the first night of the Shuffle.
    • Create your nap, bedtime, and nighttime sleep plans