Free Good Night, Sleep Tight Workbook by Kim West

process will take longer and you very well may have to install a gate. Be patient and consistent. If your toddler is on a mattress on the floor or in a low toddler bed, sit nearby on the floor, not on a chair.
     

The Family Meeting
     
    Choose a time when your child is happy and receptive. Sunday morning after pancakes is a lot better than 5:00 p.m. on a weekday when she skipped her nap and is starving for dinner. Tell her that you read a book by the Sleep Lady® and learned about how children can sleep better. That way you can blame me for any changes or rules she doesn’t like. For instance, if your child begs you to lie down with her you can say the Sleep Lady® said we can’t do that but we can stay with you in your room. Some children get furious with me. “The Sleep Lady® can’t come over to play with me!” “I don’t like the Sleep Lady®.” But when they succeed, when they start feeling good about their new sleep skills, they often want to call me on the phone and tell me how proud they are of themselves! In the back of this workbook is a certificate you can tear out, fill in, and give to your child!
     
    Keep the discussion upbeat and positive. You don’t want your child to feel she has a problem, or that she’s doing something wrong. Portray it as your problem, your responsibility. “Mommy and Daddy should have helped you learn to put yourself to sleep earlier, and we are sorry we didn’t. But the Sleep Lady® helped us understand that and now we are going to help you learn.” Explain that children who go to bed without fussing and who sleep all night feel better in the morning and have more fun during the day. Encourage your child to brainstorm about how she can participate, maybe by deciding what she can take into her bed to touch or hug, or what extra game she will get to play in the morning if she uses her good-sleep manners at night. You want her to have a stake in success. You may be surprised at how sensitive children already are to sleep issues, and how quickly they pick up the lingo. Many kids are relieved when parents bring this up. They know that something is wrong, that Mom and Dad are frustrated and want them to sleep differently. They’re happy to know you are going to help them fix it.
     
    If you think it will help, you can give your child examples, preferably of an older friend or cousin she looks up to. Say something like, “We’re going to teach you how to put yourself to sleep and sleep all night long in your own bed, just like Cousin Johnny and Cousin Jenny and Gramma and Aunt Rachel.” Be sure to frame this in a positive way, not one to make your child feel ashamed.
     
    Explain clearly and specifically what changes are coming. “Daddy is not going to lie down with you anymore, but Daddy will stay with you until you fall asleep.” Or, “If you come to our bed at night, we’re going to tell you we love you and take you back into your bed where you can snuggle with your teddy bear.” Adapt the script to the appropriate sleep challenge, but you don’t have to give a lot more detail. You can introduce the idea of a sticker chart so your child will know exactly what behavior you’ll expect.
     
    I strongly encourage you to use what I call “wake-up music” or a light with an attached appliance timer . You can purchase an inexpensive CD alarm clock or use your MP3 player with an alarm clock and set it for a nice calming song to go off at your child’s average wake-up time (as long as it’s not before 6:00 a.m.). Let your child choose the song, or consider the “Good Morning!” song on my CD, The Sweetest Dreams ; it was written just for this purpose. Six o’clock in the morning is the earliest and 7:30 a.m. should be the latest the music goes off. Don’t set it for 7:30 a.m. if your child tends to wake at 6:00 a.m. or earlier. Explain to your child that having this clock in her room is very special and grown-up ands he’s not to touch it. Set it to go off in two