his feelings were …
Frustrated, I shot up, burst into the kitchen, grabbed a cracker packet and the jar of honey, and sat at the table. If I was going to 133/504
be irritated, better with lots of sugar in my veins.
I let some honey drip onto a cracker and took it to my mouth, but froze when I saw the back door open. It was late and the house was dark. Jesus, what if someone had broken in?
I scrambled to the porch and found Jason seated on the swing with Luna, looking at the stars.
“What are you doing up at this hour?” he asked.
After grabbing my honey and crackers from inside, I sat on one of the chairs around the wooden table. “What are you doing here at this hour? It’s Friday night. Aren’t you supposed to be out and about?” He shrugged. “I’m getting too old for that.”
I laughed. “Yeah, right.”
His head tilted and his eyes narrowed at me. “You just laughed.”
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I closed my mouth and spread honey on a cracker. “And? I can’t laugh?”
“Well, I’ve been home for a week and you’ve been avoiding me. We’ve barely exchanged a few words.”
“Let’s say I’m kinda tired of avoiding everyone.”
He scratched under Luna’s ear while she snored loudly. “So tell me about your life in Cleveland.”
“It’s boring really.”
He smiled and, even in the dark, I could see the shine of his eyes. “I want to know about my little sister. Please, tell me.” Mad or not, he was still my big brother and I did miss talking to him.
I sighed. “I’m going into my third year of architecture, and I’m pretty happy about it.”
“In Cleveland?”
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“Yes. I didn’t want to leave grandma alone. She’s getting old, you know.” I licked a smidgen of honey from my finger.
“I remember your fascination with architecture. You always had your sketchpad with you, always drawing the people and places around you. Do you still sketch?”
“Yup.” However, I had stopped drawing people a long time ago. Almost four years to be exact. But he didn’t need to know that.
“You do know architecture isn’t in its best shape right now, right? Getting a well-paying job will be hard.”
“I know, but I love it. I can’t imagine doing anything else.” When we were kids, Rachel, Sophie, Faith, and I played dolls all the time, but the truth was, they played dolls while I sat beside them, drawing the dolls’
houses, complete with façade and floor plan.
“I’m glad you like it that much.” A grin spread over his lips. “I saw the flowers.” I 136/504
groaned. “So, you have a boyfriend there.
Want to tell me about him?”
“Nope. I really don’t want to talk about that.” I spread honey over another cracker.
“Tell me about you. I know you’re studying biology at the University of South Carolina.
Why didn’t you go away?”
He looked up at the stars, and I thought he wouldn’t answer. “The truth is that I couldn’t do that to Mom. She already suffered too much when you left. I didn’t want to add to that. Then when Dad became ill, I knew I had made the right decision. I’ll stay here with her.”
That was surprising. Jason had been nothing short of selfish when he was younger. He had changed, and apparently, my absence had triggered it. Once more, I realized I wasn’t a factor in this family. They had their routine and their lives and their purposes, all without me.
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I finished eating and stood. I was picking up the crackers and the honey, when I heard the sound of a car and loud music approaching. Luna jumped from the seat and went to the fence to bark at the car.
I glanced at Jason and found him watching me with big eyes.
Slowly, I turned to the street and saw as a black Mustang reduced speed. The music turned down, but the car didn’t stop. It drove by and away.
“Sorry, I thought you would be asleep.
He was coming by to talk.” Jason stood, his cell phone in his hand. “I’m gonna call him and meet him outside.”
I remained