Free Night Sky (Satan's Sinners MC Book 3) by Colbie Kay

never wanted to resent you and if I wouldn't have left, I would have. I would’ve blamed you for making me stay and we would’ve ended up hating each other. I never want to hate you or have you hate me.
    Now that I can actually listen to what she is saying, I understand more, but that don’t mean it doesn’t hurt still. I wasn't understanding before, but I do now. I just want the pain to stop.
    I never wanted to hurt you.
    I know you didn't.
    Why didn't you come for me?
    I did! I bore my eyes into hers, letting her know I’m completely serious.
    What? Her brows furrow and she tilts her head like she doesn't understand.
    I did. The day you left, I came to the airport, but it was too late, you were already boarding the plane. So I stayed for awhile and sent you some texts. When you never responded, I realized I lost you, so being defeated, I went back to the clubhouse. Over the next couple weeks, I sent text after text, hoping like hell you would respond, but you never did. I didn't wanna leave it like we did and I thought maybe we could work something out to stay together.
    Oh God, Writer! She covers her mouth with her hand and tears start welling up in her eyes before she adds, I never knew! I didn't hear from you that last week after our fight and then I thought you didn't come for me. I was hurt and angry. I threw my phone in the trash and got a new one when I landed in New York.
    I figured Zoey would’ve told you. She knew I came for you.
    She shakes her head no. I asked her and our parents not to tell me anything. It would’ve been too hard. If I would have seen you that day, I don't think I could’ve walked away from you.
    Maybe you not seeing me happened for a reason.
    Yeah maybe, she hesitates, then continues, Why are you doing drugs?
    Ah fuck! I knew someone would open their big fuckin' mouth and tell her.
    Everything I have done since you left has all been to try and forget about you, get you out of my system. The pain I feel is unbearable most days, so the fighting, the gym, tattoos, the drugs and alcohol, and all the whores — it's all been to forget, to make this just a fraction easier to deal with.
    Has it worked?
    No! Not at all.
    Will you stop? I'm back now. You don't have to hurt anymore.
    You may be back, but you're not mine anymore.
    I’ve always been yours. Do you still love me?
    I never stopped, but I can't get into this with you again.
    So where do we go from here?
    She’s continuously blinking back the tears that threaten to fall and I’m trying to be as honest as I can. I don’t wanna lie to her.
    First off, you don't listen to your sister or Lil Mama anymore. They have terrible plans and are trouble. Smiling at each other, I add, I'll make a deal with you. You don't bring anymore guys here with you and you won't see me with anymore whores. I wanna be your friend.
    Did you really just pull the friend card? How, after everything, are we supposed to be friends?
    I'm not really sure, but I would rather have you as my friend than not have you at all.
    Okay deal! Do you still come up here?
    Yeah. I'll tell you a secret. I’ve come up here many nights and wrote you letters or drew portraits of you.
    You did? I wrote you letters almost every day in New York. Can we trade?
    I silently laugh because she is like a kid in a candy store. No not yet, but I have them put up.
    Will you try and stop doing the drugs?
    I'll try.
    That's all I can ask. Are you ready to go back down?
    Not yet.
    We stay up here for a while longer, enjoying the view and not wanting to leave each other. When we finally do come back down, Crazy Girl took her home because I’m not ready to have her back on my bike. I went and laid in my bed, feeling good about our conversation and wondering how well this whole friendship business is gonna go.
    ★★★
    It’s been a week since we had our conversation and I’m kicking myself in the ass for saying we could be friends. What the hell was I thinking when I said that shit? Seriously,