Free Demons Don’t Dream by Piers Anthony

of—"
    "I get i.t It has little waves on it, too. And Fire is in the shape of flames, and Air is like a puffy cloud. Everything's punnish, in Xanth. Okay, let's circle the Void and go see the Water Wing."
    "You don't really believe me," Jenny said.
    "I didn't say that." But it was true. Kim didn't believe that the map was wrong. It was in print, after all.
    "Maybe we should go east to the Sane Jaunts River ," Jenny said. "The birds are there, but they won't bother us if we didn't do anything to annoy them."
    "Why should birds bother us anyway? We can just shoo them away."
    "Some of them are big birds."
    "Big birds? Is that another pun?"
    "I don't think so. I mean rocs."
    "Rocks?—oh, rocs! The hugest of birds! Like Roxanne Roc, in the Nameless Castle."
    "Yes. We don't want to bother any rocs. They know we're in the game, but still, we shouldn't take chances."
    They had taken chances in the Ogre Fen, and almost gotten wiped out. Kim could have sworn that her hair got wet when the brute dunked her screen. That was her imagination, of course, but it had been uncomfortable at the time. She didn't want anyone turning her screen upside down again, either; she had felt giddy as the whole landscape inverted and swung around. Just how an ogre could grab her screen she didn't know; it was just the picture of Xanth she saw. But funny things always did happen in Xanth.
    "Okay, let's go by the birds," Kim agreed. "I'd like to see a roc, anyway, as long as I'm on this tour. From a distance." She no longer wanted to see any monsters up close, because now she was afraid that one of them would smash her screen, or eat it, and it would go dark and exclude her from the game. She wasn't yet ready to quit the game, by a long shot.
    They found a path that went east. These were not enchanted paths, Kim understood, because those were reserved for regular Xanth folk. It was just the game's excuse to force the Players into out-of-the-way places where they could get into trouble, if Players were allowed to use the enchanted paths, there wouldn't be much challenge. Anyway, it was surely more interesting along the bypaths.
    In due course they came to the bank of the river. Kim was disappointed; she had hoped that it would be a real fantasy spectacle, but it was just a meandering stream, similar to any in her own realm. However, the plants along its banks were interesting; she recognized a pillow bush and a pie tree. If only she could eat a meal here, and stay the night, so she could use these things! But it was her fate as a mere Player never to actually be in the Land of Xanth . She hated that limitation.
    Some plants were unfamiliar. They looked like hollow straws sticking up from the foliage. "What are those?" she asked.
    Jenny looked. "Oh—straw-berries. We use them to drink tsoda pop."
    Strawberries. She should have known.
    Farther along there was an odd stick on the ground. Jenny picked it up, holding it so that Kim could see it. She discovered a red pair of lips on its surface. "Don't tell me, let me guess," she said. "Lipstick!"
    "Of course," Jenny agreed. "Some girls use them to make their lips stick to things more firmly. I've never been quite sure why, unless they're afraid their kisses are too short."
    The ground shuddered. Something large and solid was coming. Jenny hid behind a tree, and Kim peeked past her shoulder.
    It was an animal with a bovine body, horns, and a weird wide-mouthed head. It sniffed the air, smelled Jenny, and looked at her with its bulging eye. "Croak!" it bellowed.
    "Croak?" Kim asked.
    "Well, it's a bull-frog," Jenny explained.
    The creature leaped into the river, made an enormous splash, and disappeared under the surface. It was a bullfrog all right
    They walked on along the river. Kim half hoped she would see a water dragon, but she didn't. It was like Mundania: the creatures were there, but seldom to be seen. Maybe it was just as well.
    "Are we south of the Void yet?" she asked after a bit. "Maybe we should cut