Free Hating Beauty (The Vegas Titans Series Book 6) by Celia Loren Page B

catatonic
languor of the sun-soaking people I’ve envied so many times. Who has time to
sunbathe, I’d always wondered? Who has so few worries that they can smile and nap
in the sun in the middle of the day?
    Maybe they were all just pretending
to be ok, just like we are now.
    I sigh.
    It’s nice, pretending. I wish I
could live in a fantasy for a while, believe that I am a sunbather, someone
without problems. In my fantasy, Knox would not have found me. I’d still be
back in my room at the Leo, working, getting closer to my goal. Breslin would
not know of me. There would be no broken window, no bleeding men on the floor.
    Wait.
    If I can fantasize, why dream so
small? Why not go all the way back and wipe the slate clean? If I could really
live in a fantasy, I would imagine a world where my work was not necessary. I’d
go back to the very beginning, before it all crumbled, and I would have made damn
sure that Jasper Breslin never came anywhere near my family.
    That is the right fantasy for me.
That is the fantasy I want to last forever.
    “We can’t stay here.”
    Knox’s words invade my pleasant
thoughts and unexpectedly bring tears to my eyes. Angrily, I wipe them away.
    “Fuck you,” I hiss.
    He blinks at me like I’ve slapped
him.
    “Oh, that’s very mature. That’s
very nice,” he groans, rubbing his face. “Yeah, fuck me. Fuck me. Why not. Actually,
yeah, you did fuck me—remember? Remember that? We fucked. We totally fucked. I
fucked you, you fucked me. We fucked up. And then you fucked me over. And now
we’re fucked.”
    Whatever amusement I might have
once felt at his total lack of eloquence evaporates in a sudden burst of
pent-up frustration.
    “ Me fucked you over?”
I can’t help it; my voice booms. A few people on a nearby bench glance at us disapprovingly.
“You hunted me down! You staked me out like an animal. You were going to hand
me over to a man who you know would have killed me. You were going to destroy
me, destroy everything I have—for money! You have no soul. You are psams, se virissvilo ! ”
    I spit in his face, which goes
purple with anger. His jaw clenches and he lunges forward, stopping with his
face inches from mine. I can smell his scent and see him trembling, a vein bulging
in his forehead.
    “You –” but he stops himself, grits
his teeth, takes a deep breath. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I have no idea what
you just called me, but you’re probably right. I am. I am that.”
    And he rolls over onto his back,
staring up at the sky, blinking back what looks like tears.
    “I wasn’t always that,” he
whispers. “It wasn’t always just the money.”
    Now I am the one who is stunned. Is
this some trick? Do men in this country cry in front of women?
    “You’re sorry? What is that
supposed to fix?”
    But I find myself relenting, not
wanting to push him. What would I do if he cried? I know in an instant what
would happen—I’d try to calm him, to make him laugh, just as I used to do with
Madlena Ketevan.
    Oh, Keto, I miss you…
    I stare at the water, willing
myself to bury the tangle of emotions that spring up at the thought of her.
Emotions will not help me find her. Only my brain and my smarts can help me do
that. Only the dwindling time on the clock is left, and I have to use what
little I have left to outsmart Breslin one last time.
    I have only my brain, my smarts…and
maybe this man, this man who knows Breslin, who has worked for him, who may
have the missing pieces I need.
    I turn back to Knox. His face has
grown calmer, but he is still staring at the sky.
    “I’ll make you a deal,” I begin,
careful that I don’t sound like a beggar. “Breslin already thinks you are
working with me, and he will treat you like an enemy. You might as well help
me. You might as well work with me. I will pay you double whatever he is paying
you, if you help me finish my work before he catches us. I am almost there, I
just need time; one day maybe two, and your