Free Tasting Never by C. M. Stunich

stare at her. She's dressed in this teeny tiny pink
dress that crinkles and sparkles when she moves. Her legs are golden
and long, lean and perfect. The perfect Barbie doll. There are guys
hanging all over her, but she isn't interested in any of them.
    “ I
was looking for you,” she says with a laugh. I think she's
plastered, but I'm not sure. I stand up, flicking away Exclamation
Point Guy's hands as he grabs for me and clings to the fabric of the
little black dress I chose tonight.
    “ Don't
go!” he says, and I have to grit my teeth to keep from telling
him to shut the fuck up.
    “ Keys,”
I say as Lacey pushes away a guy who won't stop kissing her neck. I
hold out my hand and shake my palm for emphasis. “Now.”
    “ Come
on, Never. We want to go to the beach. That's why I was looking for
you. Let's all go the beach together.” Lacey holds up her
arms and the entourage behind her cheers their consent.
    “ Keys,”
I repeat, unwilling to see Lacey perish in that stupid, little green
car of hers. It would be both tragic and incredibly sad. She rolls
her eyes and pouts her lips, but I don't take in any of it. “Keys.”
    “ Fucking
fine,” she slurs as she reaches into her top and pulls them
out. The blonde guy on her right groans and tries to lick the metal
as she passes them over to me.
    I
shove his face back, grab Lacey by the chin and whisper, “Be
careful.” I kiss her on the cheek and send her on her way with
her promise to keep her phone on. Bad things can happen at parties
like this. Horrible things.
    “ Are
you coming back to me?!” asks Exclamation Point Guy. I close
the door behind me and lean against it, letting my hair fall into my
face, so that I can breathe for just a moment. I feel so jumbled and
confused and messed up right now. I don't understand Ty any better
than I understand myself. I thought he was making me better, but
right now, I feel worse than ever. I put the base of my hand to my
forehead, and slip my phone out of the inside pocket on my coat.
Despite the fact that I'm wearing a sexy dress beneath it, I leave it
on, like a layer of protection against the outside world.
    No
missed calls.
    Fuck
and damn it.
    I
put the phone away and lift up my head, putting a plastic smile on my
face.
    “ Now
where were we?” I ask the blonde guy with the nice chest and
the pretty face. The guy who's so drunk that he's willing to do
things he wouldn't normally do. The guy that I'll feel guilty about
tomorrow. This isn't the type of man that I usually go for, not at
all, but I feel like I need a break from those other kind, like I've
got burn scars on my heart and body that haven't healed yet. I move
across the room and swing my legs over the guy's knees. I unbutton
his pants and try to ignore him when he talks.
    “ Are
you going to blow me?” he asks. “I've never had a blow
job before? Once, my girlfriend gave me a hand job though!” I
pause with my hands on the waistband of his underwear. They're white
briefs, not something I'm used to. The guys I fuck usually wear
boxers.
    “ You
have a girlfriend?” I ask and feel queasy inside. The blonde
guy nods and tries to kiss me, but I turn my face away, unsure if I
want to go through with this. I feel kind of … sick. With
myself, with Ty, with this person, whoever he is.
    “ Yeah,
we've dating for two years, ever since we started going here. We met
in a calc class!” he says as I lean back and wrinkle my nose. What are you doing, Never? You haven't slept with anyone since
    that night you blew off your date with Rick. Are you seriously going
    to throw a whole month away like this? What do you think you're
    going to get out of this?
    “ Look,
uh,” I pull my hands away from Exclamation Point Guy and fold
them across my chest. “You, um, I can't do this.” I
shake my head and bite my lower lip hard enough that it bleeds. At
least the pain wakes me up, tells me how stupid this