Free Superstar in a Housedress: The Life and Legend of Jackie Curtis by Craig B. Highberger

rot away here. You’d like to see me fall away here in this railroad flat with you and Toulouse and that second-hand hot plate!
    PETER
    All right, Nola, all right.
    NOLA
    No, it’s not all right, Nola, it’s not all right! I haven’t been to the beauty parlor in months! And when I do one tiny little innocent thing like hire a speech teacher to help me with my “t’s,” you blow up!
    PETER
    What’s wrong with your “t’s”?
    NOLA
    They’re not movie star “t’s.” You know that. Don’t get vague with me!
    PETER
    What’s with you and this movie star mystique, anyway?
    NOLA
    (with mounting hysteria.)
    Peter, I never lied to you. We both got into this thing with our two eyes open. I never led you on, and it’s been that way ever since that heavenly night in the paddy wagon. I always had a weakness for paddy wagons, you know that …
    (SHE drops her cigarette and stamps it out.)
    Ahh, never mind! When I met you, I forgot about the others. I thought you were my chance, My ticket outta the misery I was in. But now, when you show me two tickets to St. Paul … I can’t go with you to St. Paul to meet your sister and brother-in-law.
    I just don’t think I’m the type of girl you could bring home to your sister … your brother-in-law, maybe … but not your sister. What would they think of a … a … a …
    PETER
    A stripper?
    NOLA
    An artiste!
    (NOLA cries)
    Ahh, I’m just a little nobody. What do I have to offer? A facade, a glittering facade?
    (SHE regains her composure)
    I can’t go to St. Paul with you, or anywhere else. I gotta go to Hollywood. While there still is a Hollywood.
    BLACKOUT.
    The follow spot comes up on TOULOUSE.
    TOULOUSE
    The train was leaving in forty-five minutes, and on it she made it her business to be. But for some odd reason or another, it never did reach Hollywood. It came close.
    BLACKOUT.
    The stage lights come up on NOLA, in a dressing room.
    NOLA
    A split week in Maryland is pretty close, isn’t it?
    There is a knock on the door. NOLA begins singing, bumping and grinding into the mirror.
    NOLA (CONT’D)
    ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
    I HEAR YA, I HEAR YA
    AND I WANTCHA TO KNOW
    I’M COMING, I’M COMING,
    I’M COMING!
    Mrs. Gerald Freedman, the WIFE, in a black dress, white gloves, and a pillbox hat, rushes in suddenly.
    WIFE
    Nola Noonan?
    NOLA
    (Still singing.)
    I’M COMING! I’m COMING!
    (SHE speaks.)
    Yeah?
    WIFE
    I’m Mrs. Gerald Freedman.
    NOLA
    I gave already!
    (SHE turns back to the mirror, and resumes her singing.)
    I’M COMING, I’M COMING
    (The WIFE has not left. NOLA turns back to her.)
    Won’t you come in?
    WIFE
    Thank you. How do you do? I’m Mrs. Gerald Freedman.
    NOLA
    How do you do? Ya mind if I make up while we chat, Mrs. Freedman? I got a show to do in less than ten minutes.
    WIFE
    You go right ahead. I know all about “the show must go on.”
    NOLA
    (SHE sings to herself in the mirror, with a big bump.)
    PROLIFIC, PROLIFIC …
    (SHE turns back to the WIFE.)
    So, What can I do for you? Er … Mrs. … Mrs. …
    WIFE
    Freedman, Gerald Freedman … I am Mrs. Gerald Freedman.
    NOLA
    Well, now, what could you possibly want from a poor show girl like me? Oh, excuse me where are my manners? Won’t you sit down, honey?
    (SHE becomes pre-occupied with herself in the mirror.)
    Now, where were we, Mrs. Freeman? Sorry I can’t offer you anything to drink, honey.
    WIFE
    That’s quite all right. I wanted to be as brief as possible. Anyway, I just had coffee.
    NOLA
    I lost that new hip flask that Roy gave me down at that new speak down the block. What’s the name? The Pink Paa … the Green Gaa … the Blue Baa …
    (A beat, then NOLA gives up.)
    All right, hit it!
    WIFE
    Only this. I’m afraid I have heard some rather discouraging gossip …
    NOLA
    HA! Well when ain’t it, hey, toots?
    WIFE
    (Bravely.)
    About you and my husband, Mr. Gerald Freedman.
    NOLA
    Now wait a minute. You did say discouraging, didn’t you?
    WIFE
    It’s absolutely disgraceful. Everybody