Free Absolute Lovers (Absolute #2) by S.J. Hooks

right now. What if we do this and it all goes to hell?"
    "It won't," I insisted. "We're good together.
Don't you agree?"
    She nodded. "But why do we need to label it? Can't we
just continue like this?"
    "Of course we can. I just…I need to know that we're
more than sex-buddies now," I told her in complete honesty.
    "We are ," she said immediately and
looked into my eyes. "Stephen, we are more."
    I could see that she was telling the truth, and that was
reassuring, but there was still a relentless part of me that needed to call her
mine to feel calm. I didn't know why. Maybe it was because at age thirty-three
I had never had a girlfriend; maybe it was because I wanted to stake my claim. Or
maybe it was because I loved her too much to call her something less
significant, such as my “date,” when we attended my parents' party and finally
took our relationship out in public.
    "Don't you think maybe you would like being my
girlfriend?" I asked cautiously.
    "Yeah, probably," she admitted, wiping her eyes.
"But why would you want me? I'm such a huge mess!"
    "You're just going through a difficult time," I
soothed, rubbing her back again. "That doesn't make me want you any less.
I want to take care of you and help you."
    "You already do, you know," she said. "Take
care of me and help me, I mean. Thank you."
    She buried her face in the crook of my neck and I held her
close to me. Her fingers played with my chest hair and I suppressed a moan when
they brushed over my nipples. As much as I tried I couldn't stop my body's
natural reaction to her closeness and gentle caresses.
    "Wow," she giggled. "You're all kinds of
naked. I can't believe I didn't notice before now."
    "I actually didn't either," I said, blushing.
"Just ignore it."
    Instead, Julia pressed her lips against mine and kissed me.
When I started to protest she pushed her tongue into my mouth and intensified
the kiss. She ran her hands all over me and my body reacted accordingly. Then
she climbed on top of me and pulled her T-shirt over her head to reveal her
naked upper body. She grabbed my hands and placed them on her breasts.
    "Touch me," she moaned. "Fuck me, Stephen. I
need to feel you."
    There was an air of desperation about her touches and I knew
that despite how great it felt, I couldn't go through with it.
    "Julia," I said softly and lifted her off me.
"Please, stop."
    "Why?" she asked, leaning forward to kiss me
again. "Please, I want you."
    I held her face in my hands and looked deeply into her eyes
before kissing her again, but then I pulled back, covering her up with her T-shirt.
    "You don't want me?" she asked with a mixture of
shock and sadness in her voice.
    "Of course I do," I said immediately. "I
mean, can't you tell?" I glanced down at my erection and smiled
sheepishly. Julia followed my eyes and smiled back at me. She reached out to
touch me, but I intercepted her and lifted her hand to my lips while I covered
myself with the bed sheet.
    "What are you doing?" she whispered.
    "I…I think I'm trying to show you that I want more than
just sex," I said, kissing each one of her fingertips. I leaned forward
and brushed my lips against hers. I placed slow gentle kisses on her cheeks and
eyelids while I held her hands in mine.
    "You're so sweet and wonderful and lovely in every
way," I murmured. "I want to be there for you if you need a friend to
talk to or have fun with, I want to pleasure you as your lover, and I want to
take you out on dates as your boyfriend. I want to pull out your chair for you,
serve you wine, and treat you the way you deserve. I want to make you as happy
as you make me. I want all of that with you, Julia. Only with you."
    Her bottom lip trembled and once again her eyes filled with
tears.
    "Stephen," she choked out. "Please don't say
stuff like that."
    "Why not?"
    "Don't you see? You're the one who's wonderful and
sweet. Not me. You deserve someone who can give you all that. Someone closer to
your own age and not someone like me who doesn't