Free A Little Complicated by Kade Boehme

Lila’s accident came up again and it warmed me inside when he commended me again on how well she’d turned out. Fuck did he know how to weedle his way into my poor, achin’ heart.
    As he plated up the food— a garlic chicken dish made in a wok and sautéed potatoes with Cajun seasoning— I helped him clean up the mess from cooking before we took our dinner to the rarely used dining table.
    “So,” he said as he took his seat, “what brought y’all back to Atlanta?”
    “After Lila’s accident it just seemed best for her to be around Mama, to be home.”
    He nodded thoughtfully. “I can dig it. So you didn’t manage to find a Mr. of Mrs. Novak in that time?” It was like he had to pick at the damn scab. He stabbed his fork onto the chicken like it had offended him.
    “No, obviously. I was too busy takin’ care of Lila, like always, and trying to build my career. You know how it goes. And before you even bring up your sister I told you we’re just friends. I’ve made it clear as I can to her. If she ain’t getting it and you ain’t neither then I’m sorry. But I do want us to be friends so I think it’s best not to talk about that topic. Cool with you?”
    His shoulders slumped and if I wasn’t mistaken it looked an awful lot like relief. “Cool with me.”
    He glanced at me thoughtfully then opened to his mouth to ask something but stopped himself, then did it again.
    “What do you wanna know? ” I wasn’t sure I wanted to ask, but he was making himself miserable holding whatever it was inside.
    “You said you shared with me. Shared like you hadn’t with anyone else.”
    “Yeah?” I felt wary to the bone of what he may ask next.
    “Why didn’t you share that you were bi?”
    I exhaled loudly. That wasn’t a hard one. “Well, I guess I was so used to being shot down, especially by guys I liked, for having a kid and you were just you and I didn’t want to not have you around so after you assumed I just kinda kept myself quiet to keep you around. I know it’s a shitty excuse but…”
    “And you thought dating my sister was the wisest way to do that?”
    “Ryan.”
    We were quiet for a while longer. I had to break the damn silence. “ So, Ellie says you’re good at what you do. Why the bartending?”
    After he blinked in confusion at the blatant change of subject h e smiled in a way I hadn’t seen in a long time and he started telling me all about his job at the Lucky Star. He told me how he’d stumbled into it in college and to keep busy on weekends he’d just held onto the damn thing. He said it was frustrating sometimes but the tips were good and he lit up when talking about his many coworkers.
    We shared a few horror stories from work and before long were crashed out on the couch with Terminator playing in the background and sipping on beers, laughing like we’d not spent eight years apart. It felt so comfortable having him around. He just fit, which was weird for how short a time we’d actually know each other. But, we’d always been like that. Even when we first met he’d just come into my life and seen where I needed help and silently stepped in where needed. Not volunteering, just doing.
    I leaned my head back against the back of the couch, closing my eyes, soaking in the laughter and the buzz and having my best friend back.
    “So, you really haven’t had friends all this time?”
    I turned my face to him. “I had friends. I haven’t been completely alone. But, not alone doesn’t mean not lonely. I don’t open up easy. I never talked to anyone. No one knew how I’d had a daughter so young. They was all afraid to ask, or too polite, one.”
    “Did you ever see a shrink? You know, to deal with your daddy issues?” He wasn’t making fun calling them daddy issues. I really did have them. Bad. My dad had been a mean old bastard. He was older than my mom by twenty years and always thought she was cheating so he’d knock her around to show just what he’d do if she