Free Lullaby by Claire Seeber

kind of row? You’ve got to be honest with me.’ I’d got his interest now.
    ‘Please, you’re confusing me.’
    ‘Are you really telling me everything you know?’
    I stared at him. ‘How can you doubt that? Do you really think I’d hide anything?’
    ‘I presume not, Mrs Finnegan.’
    I rushed out of the kitchen. Leigh was reapplying her lip-liner in the hall mirror.
    ‘What’s wrong?’ She tried to hold my eye, but I wriggled away. ‘You need to calm down, Jess. You’re going to drive yourself mad.’
    ‘You calm down.’ With supreme effort, I kept my voice very quiet and low. ‘You calm down next time Polly and Samantha go missing. You come round and tell me how you feel, okay, Leigh?’
    ‘Look, Jess, is this—’ She stopped short.
    ‘What?’
    ‘Is this police thing, is it because—well, you know.’
    Don’t say it.
    She did. ‘Because of Dad? Because of what happened then?’
    My fingers went white where I clutched the banister. I’d buried it extremely deep. ‘It’s not about anything apart from Louis, Leigh. It’s
only
about Louis.’
    ‘Are you sure? Cos you really need to chill out with that copper.’ She jerked her head towards the kitchen. ‘You need him on your side. He’s only doing his job.’
    ‘Is he? Why does he look at me like that, then? Like I’m a liar?’
    ‘I’m sure he doesn’t.’
    ‘He does, Leigh. Anyway, whatever, I don’t care. I’m going back to look for Louis. You two, you sit and eat my eggs. Why not? Feel free.’
    I started up the stairs, and then I saw the copper’s face come round the kitchen door, and, as my bosom throbbed, I was sure he smirked at the wet patch on my front. Something just went click. With a thud I thought of DC Jones, and I went flying back past Silver, my breath coming in big ragged gulps. The box of eggswas open, half full, on the side. I selected one, nearly crushed it in my hand. It was cool and smooth, and for a second I had the urge to roll it slowly down my scalding cheek. But I didn’t. Instead, I lifted my arm and hurled it at the wall. It smashed with a glorious, satisfying crunch, a slick of yolk sliding down the shiny tiles. I took another, then one more. As my arm went back for the throw, a hand grabbed my wrist.
    ‘Get off me.’ I was gasping for breath, struggling to get free.
    ‘Mrs Finnegan—Jessica. Please. You’re hysterical.’
    ‘I’m—if you don’t let go, I’ll—I’ll have you for assault.’ I freed myself. ‘I can’t believe you think I’m lying.’
    ‘I didn’t say that. Look, I know you’re feeling terrible. But this isn’t going to help. We need to work together, don’t we?’ He wheeled me round to face him. ‘I didn’t mean to offend you, really.’
    ‘Why don’t you tell me what will help?’ I hissed, pulling away. ‘No, actually,’ and I could hardly get my breath now, ‘I’ll tell you, shall I?’ I went very close to him, so close I could see the flecks of yellow in his hazel eyes. ‘Just get my baby back. That’s all that will help. Get Louis back for me, please. Before I go insane.’
    ‘We will. We’re trying.’ Silver stood looking at me for a moment, and then he went away. I collapsed into the old wicker chair in the corner. Leigh bustled over, all consternation. The phone rang and my heart skipped. She bustled out again, and Deb slid into the room, no doubt sent by her incredibly sensitive boss.
    ‘All right?’
    This time I let her take my hand. The fight was seeping out of me, leaving me limp and broken.
    ‘Listen,’ Deb said quietly, leaning in. ‘He can be a little blunt sometimes, I know.’
    ‘Blunt? That’s a polite way of putting it.’
    She patted my knee sympathetically. ‘But he’s a really good guy to have on your side, I promise.’
    ‘He thinks I’m lying.’
    ‘He’s just being thorough. No stone unturned, you know. Bear with him, okay?’ I looked away, then nodded slowly. She smiled encouragingly. ‘Now, Jessica. When you’re