Free Beyond Tantra: Healing Through Taoist Sacred Sex by Mieke Wik, Stephan Wik

to see, acknowledge and honour each other. Sacred Sex is all about creating the physical, emotional and psychic space and conditions for sexual energy flow. If this sounds all a bit ‘airy-fairy’ then look at it another way. It’s pretty cool that you’ve got someone who’s willing to try this Sacred Sex stuff out with you, right? There’s nothing wrong with saying a small ‘Thank You for Being Here’ before getting started, is there?

    tantrapp 16/7/05 5:30 pm Page 62
    62
    Beyond Tantra – Healing Through Taoist Sacred Sex Sample Dialogue
    Here’s a suggestion for how to do this: Sit down facing each other. Take a moment just to hold each other’s gaze before one of you says something like:
    ‘Thank you for being here with me right now. I really look forward to learning about Sacred Sex with you. You’re great!’
    The other person responds:
    ‘It’s nice to be here. I’m a bit nervous but there’s nobody else I’d rather be naked and nervous with. I love you, too!’
    Be real. You don’t have to come up with deep, meaningful expressions of undying devotion to the God and Goddess within each other. By all means, feel free to do so if the Spirit moves you. What we discovered was that it was the fact that we took the time simply to appreciate each other and acknowledge that we were spending some special time together that made all the difference.
    Sometimes all that was needed was a simple deep look and a ‘Thank You’.
    Now it’s time for the hands-on practice. First, decide who is to start as the Giver and who is going to be the Receiver for the first round. You’ll swap places later. If you can’t decide you can always flip a coin!
    Receiver : Lie down on the mattress on your stomach and get comfortable.
    Make sure you are warm enough.
    Giver : Move to one side.
    Now remind your partner that this is a feedback-based massage. Tell your partner that he or she will be asked for regular positive and directional feedback, and that you will adjust what you are doing as a result.
    Sample Dialogue
    Giver: In this exercise you, The Receiver, are in complete control.
    I am here to serve you and to discover what you enjoy and appreciate while being touched.
    I’m going to start by gently touching you on your back. Please give me positive, instructive feedback on a regular basis. I need to know:

    tantrapp 16/7/05 5:30 pm Page 63
    Practising Sacred Touch – Tension Release Excercise 63
    • Does it feel good exactly where I am touching you or should I move somewhere else?
    • Is my stroke long/short/strong/gentle enough?
    • Is there someway I can adjust what I am doing to be more pleasurable or is it just right the way it is?
    If you don’t say anything at all I will ask you on a regular basis just to make sure. Please use positive statements. Even if something isn’t quite right, try to phrase your feedback in a way that is easy for me to hear and that appreciates that I’m doing my best.
    It’s OK to make nice noises.
    Giver : Before you start the actual massage, see if you can create a space of
    ‘unknowing’ in yourself. Consider the following thought:
    ‘I may think I know this person that I am about to touch but I’m open to the possibility that there is much that I do not know. I’d like to find out from him or her directly what he or she enjoys and try to learn how to give exactly what he or she wants.’
    Now ask your partner to tell you of any particular places that he or she might like to have some attention paid to, such as a stiff shoulder or tense lower back.
    Then, take some oil in your palm, let it warm up a bit and gently place your hands on the small of the Receiver’s back. Gently move in small circles to spread the oil out, up and down the back. Now move into performing a single movement. This could be a stroke or a gentle kneading action, whatever you like. As soon as you’ve gotten into the rhythm of the movement and have repeated it four or five times, ask for some