Free Heights of Desire by Mara White Page A

want to go back upstairs?” Jaylee pulls away and grabs both of my shoulders looking at me like we have a serious issue to address.
    “But your family is home!” I say both surprised and horrified by the suggestion.
    “Yeah, but they not stupid, they know I got needs.”
    I want him more than anything right now but I can’t consent to coitus in a room right next to his mother and grandmother, despite how sympathetic they might be to his manly ‘needs.’ I shake my head ‘no’ and press my hips into his.
    “Baby, what we gonna do? Want to go down to the basement stairwell? There’s laundry and shit but nobody goes down there.”
    Yes! my body says but I tell him no. I can’t start having sex in basement stairwells.
    “If you want me, why’s it matter so much where I take you? We together, no?”
    I could easily be swept away by Jaylee if it weren’t for reality rearing it’s hideous head every other step. The truth is that Jaylee and I are two different species that belong to two very different worlds.
    “I should go,” I start.
    “You just gonna leave me here, like this? Jaylee motions to his erection. “You gonna go home and fuck him instead?”
    “No!” Here we go again.
    “Cause I swear if you do . . .”
    Jaylee puts a flat palm against the wall on both sides of my head and kisses me so hard it makes my heart pound in my chest. He’s claiming me with his kiss. He doesn’t want to share me. I don’t blame him; I feel the same way.
    “Sometimes, Kate, I get the feeling that all you want from me is this,” Jaylee again gestures to his erection straining against his jeans and shoves it aggressively against my thigh.
    I’m silent because he couldn’t be more wrong. If that were all I wanted wouldn’t I agree to bang him in the basement? How bizarre is our relationship that a twenty-two year old man is accusing me of using him for sex. Isn’t that supposed to be exactly what you want at that age? Shouldn’t he be thrilled by the idea that a woman wants his cock and nothing else?
    “Like you won’t give up the money, or maybe it’s the social bullshit you think you need?”
    “Jaylee, you’re wrong. Money has nothing to do with any of the decisions I make. I’m trying – I just don’t want to hurt anyone I love,” I say.
    “You’re hurting me.”
    “Am I?” The question is both for him and for me. The heavier question lingering between us is the mention of love, but now is neither the time nor the place.
    Jaylee penetrates me with his gaze. His golden eyes flicker with light and desire as he examines my face carefully. One thing is certain, I do want this man so badly and I can’t live without him wanting me.
    “I’m afraid. I’m afraid of losing the stability – everything I know. But more than anything it’s Pearl and Ada. I’d die without them.”
    Jaylee grabs me around the waist and pulls me to his chest. He smoothes my hair back and kisses my temple.
    “I’m not gonna let that happen, baby.”
    He means well, but he’s so clueless. He has absolutely no power to prevent that from happening. Robert is the one with the power. “I have to go,” I say.
    “No. It’s an all day thing. Inviting you over. You have to stay. I didn’t mean you could just eat and run.”
    He makes me smile even through my fog of despair.
    “I can’t stay, Jaylee, really. I loved meeting your family. They’re beautiful, just like you. I don’t think I can do this anymore. It feels wrong. I’m not right for you, it’s so obvious.”
    “You want me to go upstairs and tell my grandma you just dumped me?”
    “Maybe you should try telling them the truth and then they’ll be glad to see me out of your life.”
    “They know. Told ‘em everything. I’m not gonna lie about us. You’ too important to me, Kate. We are.”
    Jaylee’s face is serious. A furrow appears on his brow between his eyes. He’ll only get better looking as he ages. I’m captivated by his determination, his