my soul. I find myself searching the crowds for your face—I know it is an impossibility, but I cannot help myself. My search for you is a never-ending quest that is doomed to fail. You and I had talked about what would happen if we were forced apart by circumstance, but I cannot keep the promise I made to you that night. I am sorry, my darling, but there will never be another to replace you. The words I whispered to you were folly, and I should have realized it then. You—and you alone—have always been the only thing I wanted, and now that you are gone, I have no desire to find another. Till death do us part, we whispered in the church, and I’ve come to believe that the words will ring true until the day finally comes when I, too, am taken from this world.
Garrett
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“Deanna, do you have a minute? I need to talk to you.”
Deanna looked up from her computer and took off her reading glasses. “Of course I do. What’s up?”
Theresa laid the three letters on Deanna’s desk without speaking. Deanna picked them up one by one, her eyes widening in surprise.
“Where did you get these other two letters?”
Theresa explained how she’d come across them. When she finished her story, Deanna read the letters in silence. Theresa sat in the chair opposite her.
“Well,” she said, putting down the last letter, “you’ve certainly been keeping a secret, haven’t you?”
Theresa shrugged, and Deanna went on. “But there’s more to this than just finding the letters, isn’t there?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean,” Deanna said with a sly smile, “you didn’t come in here because you found the letters. You came in here because you’re interested in this Garrett fellow.”
Theresa’s mouth opened, and Deanna laughed.
“Don’t look so surprised, Theresa. I’m not a complete idiot. I knew something was going on these last few days. You’ve been so distracted around here—it’s like you’ve been a hundred miles away. I was going to ask you about it, but I figured you’d talk to me when you were ready.”
“I thought I was keeping things under control.”
“Perhaps for other people. But I’ve known you long enough to know when something’s up with you.” She smiled again. “So tell me, what’s going on?”
Theresa thought for a moment.
“It’s been really strange. I mean, I can’t stop thinking about him, and I don’t know why. It’s like I’m in high school again and I have a crush on someone I’ve never met. Only this is worse—not only have we never spoken, but I’ve never even seen him. For all I know, he could be a seventy-year-old man.”
Deanna leaned back in her chair and nodded thoughtfully. “That’s true . . . but you don’t think that’s the case, do you?”
Theresa slowly shook her head. “No, not really.”
“Neither do I,” Deanna said as she picked up the letters again. “He talks about how they fell in love when they were young, he hasn’t mentioned any children, he teaches diving, and writes about Catherine as if he had only been married a few years. I doubt if he’s that old.”
“That’s what I thought, too.”
“Do you want to know what I think?”
“Absolutely.”
Deanna spoke the words carefully. “I think you should go to Wilmington to try to find Garrett.”
“But it seems so . . . so ridiculous, even to me—”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t know anything about him.”
“Theresa, you know a good deal more about Garrett than I did about Brian before I met him. And besides, I didn’t tell you to marry him, I just told you to go find him. You may find out that you don’t like him at all, but at least you’ll know, won’t you? I mean, what can it hurt?”
“What if . . .” She paused, and Deanna finished her statement.
“What if he’s not what you imagine? Theresa, I can guarantee he’s not what you’re imagining
Henry James, Ann Radcliffe, J. Sheridan Le Fanu, Gertrude Atherton