Free Smokeless Fire by Samantha Young

time, a shocked breath of air escaped her at the thought. She’d never wanted a mother… but that morning, in that dress, getting ready to graduate, Ari had realized how wonderful it would have been to have her mother there. She saw how Rachel was with her mom. They were as close as two people could be. They told each other everything.
    Shaken at the seemingly out-of-the-blue yearning that had taken hold of her, Ari had fled from the room, hurrying downstairs to wait on the Duffs.
    “Let me take a picture of just Rachel and Ari,” Mrs. Duff said. The grin she wore had planted itself there an hour ago and clearly refused to leave. Her good mood was infectious and Ari wrapped an arm around Rachel’s waist, pulling the shorter girl close for a photograph that would forever capture that one moment of contentedness on this momentous day. “Beautiful.” Mrs. Duff nodded, putting the camera down for the first time.
    “My family’s ready to leave,” Staci said, sweeping over in her cap and gown, A.J. trailing at her back. She smiled sweetly at the Duffs. “Are you ready?”
    The two families, plus Ari and A.J., were gathering together for a graduation lunch at Nellie’s on Main Street, the best burger place in Sandford Ridge. Staci’s mom had wanted to go somewhere a little more upmarket but the teens won the vote.
    “Sure,” Mrs. Duff began. “Let me—”
    “ Everybody just wanna fall in love !”
    Ari winced as her loud ringtone interrupted Mrs. Duff. “Sorry.” She shuffled around in the little purse she’d brought, pulling the cell out and cutting off Metric when she saw the caller ID. “Dad,” she breathed happily into the phone, so glad he hadn’t forgotten.
    “Hey, sweetheart. Congratulations on graduating and happy birthday.”
    “Thanks, Dad. We’re just heading off for lunch. Wish you were here.”
    “Me too, kid.” He sighed heavily. “You got everything you need?”
    The question sparked a riot of questions and longings. It was like graduation had flipped a switch inside her.  Suddenly Ari felt a wicked slice of pain across her chest and she took a deep breath, wandering away from her friends as she replied, “I don’t know.”
    Sensing her tone, her father’s own grew clipped. “What’s happened? What’s the matter?”
    “Nothing. I mean…” she glanced around, feeling lightheaded as she prepared to tell him. “I… just… I’ve been thinking about Mom today. Isn’t that weird?”
    Derek exhaled. “Ari, she’s not your mom. She’s your mother and she left you. She has no right to this day.”
    But you do! Where are you?
    “I know. I just… it would have been nice to have family here.”
    “Ari, are you trying to make me feel guilty? Because I already feel bad about missing your graduation.”
    “No.” She trembled, trying to control the anger that was building up under her skin. She felt so off-balance. One minute she had been fine… the next… she was this. “I was asking about my mother, that’s all, Dad. I just wanted to know what she was like.”
    “Why now? It doesn’t make a difference, Ari. You’re eighteen, you’ve gotten through life long enough without her and you’ve never wanted her before and you certainly don’t need her now—”
    “Dad—”
    “I gotta go. Have a great birthday. I’ll speak to you soon.”
    “Dad—”
    The line went dead and Ari pulled the cell away from her ear, feeling stuck in slow motion. She was still staring at it when Staci appeared before her, her dark eyes warm with concern. “You OK?”
    Ari nodded shakily, trying to force a smile.
    “Oh, Ari…” Staci reached out a comforting hand. “Forget about your dad, OK. We’re here. Today we’re your family.”
    It had been two years since Ari last cried. The last time had been at Mike’s funeral. Since then she’d sort of decided that tears were only for when something hurt so much it changed you deep inside. Today she wanted to cry. But she wouldn’t. It had