Free Darcy and Fitzwilliam: A Tale of a Gentleman and an Officer by Karen Wasylowski Page A

eyebrow waggle when I see one! Only destruction and misfortune can come from this behavior. There is no future with harlots, as well you know. You are behaving like the very worst rakehell of Carlton House."
    "Forgive me, but is there a very best type of rakehell?"
    "This amuses you? If your sainted mother were alive today, this would kill her. Your health is failing you, Richard. Your career will be affected. I demand that you settle down and marry immediately. Why can you not select from the daughters of the many excellent families that are within our circle? My goodness, Pamela Tyson Briggs must be nearly twenty years old and has the hips of a good breeder."
    "She has the hips of a good rhinoceros," he mumbled.
    And the discussion began its inevitable spiral downward after that.
    ***
    The carriage arrived at Longbourn at nearly half past noon. It was a vastly improved Longbourn from when Lady Catherine had last visited, that horrible day when she confronted Elizabeth, shouting out her views on the unsuitability of any sort of relationship between the poor country girl and Darcy.
    Both Darcy and Bingley had together refurbished and beautified the old household of their in-laws. The garden was once again fine-looking, the house itself painted, the roof repaired, the drainage problem that had flooded the front yard and back was easily solved by Darcy, and the inside saw new wallpaper, sofas, tables, and draperies courtesy of Bingley.
    It was an elegant little manor house that now stood before Catherine as Fitzwilliam handed her down from the carriage and they began to walk up the drive.
    "Well, it seems quite an unexceptional home," she offered kindly. "Much better than I remembered." Perhaps the girl was not as much beneath her nephew as she had believed. Guiding her by the elbow, Fitzwilliam proceeded to lead her down a lovely little walkway through the front flower garden, a path that was lined by a beautiful low box hedge. It was a lovely day, the quiet interrupted only by the chirping of the blackbirds, the robins, the Tits--Blue, Great and Coal.
    When they reached the first of four stepping stones that led to the main front veranda, a strange sort of keening noise began, faintly at first, growing louder and nearer in proximity. They stopped, quizzically looking first at each other and then about them. The sound grew more strident.
    It was then that a medium-sized porker appeared from around the back of the house, streaking across their path and squealing at an ear-deafening pitch, followed closely by a barefoot, unkempt serving boy wielding a butcher knife and swearing like a drunken sailor. Catherine gripped Fitzwilliam's arm and tightly closed her eyes.
    They stood frozen for several moments. "Steady on, old girl." Fitzwilliam struggled valiantly against the urge to laugh.
    Catherine stared straight before her and swallowed. "Richard, really... you know how... Richard, I dislike... cant terms... such as 'old girl'... Was that a pig ?!" she finally spit out.
    His chin hit his chest as he bit his upper lip. It was a while before he could speak. "Actually, I believe that was dinner."
    She winced and paled.
    "Remember, dearest, in warfare it is always best to choose your battles." He squeezed her elbow gently. "Shall we proceed?"
    She shut her eyes again and nodded.
    ***
    Compassion replaced the apprehension that had nearly paralyzed Lizzy after sending the serving girl to find Darcy. There was true anxiety in the face and mannerisms of the proud woman who stood before her, and Lizzy curtseyed respectfully to her new aunt. "Lady Catherine, I cannot tell you how happy we are that you are here."
    Catherine nodded, nervously shifting her feet. "I am very sorry for your loss, Elizabeth. Please accept my condolences to you and to your family." Her voice wavered only once, and she cleared her throat, pulling fretfully at her gloves before continuing. "It was never your mother's fault, nor her wish, I am sure, that her garden is