Free Star Trek: The Q Continuum by Greg Cox

to start turning people into frogs right and left, the fewer warm bodies around the better. He took comfort in knowing that, should anything happen to him, Will Riker was safely in charge of the bridge.
    Data had brought him up to speed while he took the turbolift from his ready room to the lounge, so he was not surprised to see the woman and the child waiting for him. The woman had a distinctly imperious air about her that reminded Picard far too much of her infuriating male counterpart; he flattered himself that he could have identified her as a Q even if he hadn’t been warned in advance. He took note of her unusual costume as well. No doubt, he realized, she thinks she’s on an expedition among savages. The child, whose scream he had indeed heard nine decks away, he spotted sitting cross-legged on a tabletop nearby, playing with his…planet?
    Picard repressed a shudder at the thought of what this small boy might be capable of. Dealing with children of any sort was never one of his favorite things to do, but an omnipotent child? Wesley was difficult enough on occasion, and he had merely been a prodigy.
    Leyoro met him at the door and escorted him to the woman, who scanned him from head to toe with an appraising look. “You must be the one he talks about all the time,” she said, mostly to herself. “Luke John, isn’t it?”
    “I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise,” he informed her. He had no doubt whom the “he” she had mentioned referred to, and couldn’t help wondering what Q might have told her about him. Nothing very complimentary, I’m sure. “May I ask what brings you here?”
    She removed her pith helmet and laid it down on an empty chair. Auburn curls tumbled down to her shoulders, framing her face. If nothing else, she was a good deal more attractive than the usual Q. Her face looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn’t place where he might have seen her before.
    “I’m looking for my husband,” she declared. “Besides, I’ve always meant to find out why Q finds this primitive vessel so interesting.” She glanced around, then shrugged her shoulders. “I must admit, I don’t see it yet, but now that we have a family I intend to share more of his interests, however bizarre and unappealing.”
    “Your husband,” Picard repeated, momentarily flummoxed. The only thing more disturbing than the idea of Q married was the realization that he had actually reproduced. Just what the universe needs, he thought, a chip off the old block. He looked over at the empty bar, wishing Guinan were there. She knew a lot more about the Q Continuum than she usually let on. He generally preferred to respect her privacy regarding her sometimes mysterious past, but he could certainly have used her advice now. I wonder if I should contact Earth and have her put on a shuttle right away?
    Probably a bit drastic, he decided. God knows I’ve coped with the other Q on my own more times than I care to remember.
    “You are correct,” he told the woman. “Q was here, a few hours ago, but he has departed.”
    “Nonsense,” she said, looking past him. “He’s here, all right. Q,” she said firmly, placing her hands on her hips. “Show yourself.”
    “You called, dearest?” an unmistakable voice rang out, accompanied by a flash of light. Picard spun around to see Q materialize atop the bar counter, stretched out on his side like a model posing for a portrait. He had traded in his anachronistic matador’s garb for an up-to-date Starfleet uniform. “Honey, I’m home!”
    “This is not your home,” Picard barked automatically. Q disappeared in a flash, then reappeared next to his alleged spouse. It briefly registered on Picard that this was the first time he had seen Q in the new plum-colored uniforms instituted shortly before the Borg Queen’s assault on the Earth. As usual, the sight of Q in uniform seemed grossly inappropriate and offensive.
    “Oh, don’t be such a sourpuss, Jean-Luc,” Q