Free All is Lost (All Series, Book 2) by Marie Wathen Page B

keep on
living the way I did before last night, with no life in me for the
past fourteen years. Who could call that living? Every emotion I
never allowed before comes crashing down on me now.
    Sucking back my emotions, I force out more
words through my raspy voice, “I don't know how the hell you put up
with me being so damn selfish and at times just plain mean. I hate
that I've let you and Tristan down so many times.”
    Completely embarrassed and attempting to
control my crying, I drop my face into my hands. Failing miserably
at keeping my heartache locked inside, the tears break free again,
racking my body.
    I can’t stop now .
    “ I'm disgusted with myself and my
behavior. I'm not a saint, but you saw something valuable in me all
these years. I know being friends with me isn’t easy. Even though I
pushed you away as hard as I could, you waited for me. If you will
still have me I want to be your best friend Anna.”
    Looking up from my damp hands, I draw her
weary body into my arms and hug her desperately. My body trembles
with fear by admitting my true feelings and a collaboration of many
more emotions. Anna remained quiet while I got everything I needed
to say out of my system, but now I need to know that she forgives
me. Slowly I steady my breathing, wipe my eyes and lift my gaze to
greet hers. Waiting for me to finish, she stares
wordlessly.
    “ I swear that I'm done with all
that bullshit. If you and God give me the chance I will make up for
everything I denied you and Tristan, all of those years. Anna, can
you forgive me?” Eyes bulging, mouth agape and unmoving, she is
once again catatonic Anna.
    “ Anna?”
    I can't believe all that I have confessed
either so I understand the total dumbstruck look on her
face.
    “ Anna.”
    Needing to ease the tension, I snap my fingers
dramatically in front of her face. It breaks her trance and finally
she responds. Closing her mouth, she blinks rapidly and stares at
me with a look like she is expecting the heavens to split open and
whisk her away any second.
    “ Come on let's get you home.”
Mocking in my best whiny Anna voice, I grab her by the arm linking
mine with hers and say, “You. Stink!”
    Finding her voice she says, “I love you too
Breesan. Of course I forgive you, but we have a lot to talk
about.”
    Freezing in place at the thought of her
knowing all my repressed pain, I am scared shitless, but she
deserves to know everything and I accept it as part of true
friendship. Looking at her serious expression, I swallow down my
nervousness and nod my head slowly, extracting a wide smile from
her.
    “ Okay, so we start over today.”
Pausing, she adds, “Best friends.”

Chapter Six
    Breesan
    The group of people in the waiting room has
thinned out now. Those that remain are Tristan's closest friends,
family members and a police officer standing guard at his door.
Marcus and Morgan's parents are near the back of the waiting room
talking with Gran. Granddad has a blanket too small for him draped
over his chest, head tilted back against the wall with a ball cap
covering his face and a loud rumble coming from under it suggests
that he is sleeping. Bates walks over and stands awkwardly for a
moment before finally speaking.
    “ Does he know we are all
here?”
    His head and eyes are downcast with his
shoulders sagging and hands jammed into his back pockets. Slowly
lifting his head, Bates looks from me to Anna apprehensively.
Clearly he is suffering tremendously with Tristan's injury
too.
    “ He knows Bates,” Anna says. “I've
told him and I know he hears me.”
    She smiles and the tension in his features
eases slightly. Not a grin exactly, but a little better than a
grimace moves across his tired face. Nodding to her, Bates lets out
a heavy breath then begins rubbing his hand across the back of his
neck.
    “ Good,” he pauses then steps closer
to her. “Anna is there something I can do for you or for his
family? Anything, just name it.” He says, reaching a