Free The Startling Story of the Stolen Statue by Tony Abbott

Good News, Bad News
    M y name is Jeff Bunter, and I’m the chief, first, and number one Goofball on the planet.
    My best friends, Brian Rooney, Kelly Smitts, and Mara Lubin, are the other Goofballs.
    They’re also on the planet (except it’s sometimes hard to tell with Brian).
    Together, we solve mysteries.
    Goofball mysteries.
    Like the one yesterday. It was huge. You could even call it the Crime of the Century!
    And it all happened at our school.
    It was also our goofiest mystery so far. There was a smelly scrap of paper. A word too long to say. A chunk of cheese. A pet badger. And Brian’s favorite pants.
    But hold on. I’m getting ahead of myself.
    Which can hurt. Because when I stop, Brian, Kelly, and Mara bump into me, and we all end up on the floor like a pile of sandbags.
    Oh, right. Sandbags.
    They were part of the mystery, too.

    So let me begin at the beginning. Or rather at the end. The end of the school day.
    Because that’s when the mystery started.
    We were all in homeroom, talking about the huge party that evening.
    Badger Point School was having its 100th anniversary. A statue of the school’s first principal would be unveiled. Because we had no mystery to solve, the other Goofballs and I had spent the whole week putting up decorations.
    All of a sudden— Krrkkkk! Pppppp! Zzzzzt!
    No, it wasn’t Mara blowing her nose.
    It was the public-address system, making noise like firecrackers exploding in a radio. Trust me, I know what that sounds like. Brian did that once.
    When the crackling ended, everyone hushed. Then came the announcement.
    “Jeff Bunter, Brian Rooney, Kelly Smitts, and Mara Lubin, please report after school to the Cafeteri-Audi-Nasium!”
    Because Badger Point is a small school, they combined the cafeteria, the auditorium, and the gymnasium into one room. They even give golf lessons to grown-ups there on Saturdays. That’s a long list of stuff to do in one room, so they had to find a long name for it.
    Cafeteri-Audi-Nasium!
    It’s where the big party was going to be.
    Kelly twirled her blond curls. “I wonder if we need to put up more decorations.”
    “Or test the refreshments!” said Mara, who loves to eat but is as skinny as a stick.
    BRRRRRNG! The dismissal bell rang. The halls filled with kids racing out of school, and the four of us headed down to the big room.
    Banners were hung on the walls of the hallways. Streamers in purple and white, the school colors, hung from the ceiling.

    “Don’t get me wrong,” said Kelly. “I love parties. But it’s been days since our last mystery. My detection skills are getting rusty.”
    “I hardly feel goofy anymore!” said Brian.
    “You still look pretty goofy,” said Mara.
    Brian grinned. “Thanks. I try.”
    My heart skipped. “What if we’re being called to the Cafeteri-Audi-Nasium to solve a mystery? My cluebook is totally ready!”
    My cluebook is what I call a small notebook I carry with me everywhere. I write down anything that looks, smells, sounds, feels, or tastes like a clue. Private detectives do this all the time. It helps us solve mysteries.
    “If it’s a mystery, I can use my cool stuff,” said Brian, patting his bulging pockets.
    Because Brian is an inventor, his pockets are always packed with weird junk. Too bad his mystery-solving inventions never really work.
    “We can wear new disguises!” said Mara.

    Mara is the queen of goofy disguises. On our last case, we dressed up as plants. Before that, we were lumps of pizza dough. Before that, we were big fluffy rats. We’ll dress up as anything to solve a mystery.
    The school was pretty empty by the time we entered the final corridor. Then we saw Billy Carlson, a boy from our homeroom. He was picking something up from the floor.

    “Hey, Billy,” said Kelly.
    “It’s not me,” he said. Then he ran as fast as he could down the hall the opposite way.
    “ That was mysterious,” whispered Kelly.
    “And I’m writing it down,” I said.
    Saw Billy Carlson