Free Putting Boys on the Ledge by Stephanie Rowe

holding me so tightly, because my legs were never going to support me.
    Then he loosened his grip on me and leaned back. "Blue."
    I lifted my face to his. "What?"
    He got this sort of dopey look on his face, and his eyes went half-mast, and then he started coming toward me.
    And I knew: he was going to kiss me. I mean, really kiss me, open mouth, tongue, the whole nine yards.
    He was coming closer.
    And closer.
    How did one kiss properly? I had no clue—and he was about to find that out. He'd think I was such a baby, not even knowing how to kiss. No way could I handle his ridicule or his disdain.
    His lips were only an inch from mine and his eyes were closed.
    Argh!
    Total panic!
    "I gotta go. I'll see you at rehearsal this week." I wrenched myself out of his arms and ran across the dance floor. Okay, I didn't exactly run. I walked fast, but somehow managed to keep enough dignity not to sprint. I grabbed Allie's wrist on the way by, untangling her from her pretzel twisting, and picked up Natalie and Frances, who were standing with their mouths hanging open.
    As we disappeared around the corner, I paused long enough to look back at Heath. He was standing where I'd left him, staring at me. He was too far away to see his face, but I had no doubt it was riddled with disgust that he'd wasted a moment on me.
    This was the worst night of my life.
    * * *
    No one said a word until Natalie and I had changed back into our mom-approved clothes and I'd called my mom to come pick us up. Even the first use of my new cell phone didn't feel very exciting because I was so depressed. We sat on the curb two blocks over from the party under a streetlight in silence.
    "I ruined it," I said. It hurt even to bring it up. I hugged my knees to my chest and prayed that no one from the party would walk by and see me sitting. I could only imagine what they'd all been saying about me after I'd bolted.
    "Tell us what happened," said Allie, who didn't seem mad I'd pulled her from that guy. But that was Allie. Guys came and went with her so fast she didn't even need to bother to learn their names.
    "I freaked." The cement curb was hard and cold against my butt, like I was getting a kick in the pants for being such a dork. I had already changed back into my jeans and sweater, back into the real Blue, the one that had reared her ugly head at the party. The thong and the makeup and the sexy clothes had not kept my dorkiness at bay, which completely sucked.
    "We noticed that," Natalie said. "But what happened? It looked like it was going well."
    "He was about to kiss me." I could still see his mouth coming toward mine, like this giant shark about to swallow my head right up, teeth and all.
    "And…?" Even Frances was interested. Usually she said boys and dating were boring, but she was definitely fascinated by my apparent inability to have a functioning brain when I was with a guy I liked.
    I groaned and pressed my face into my knees. "I ran away," I mumbled.
    "Before he kissed you?" Natalie asked.
    "Of course before."
    "Why?" Allie asked. "That's the best part."
    "Because I don't know how to kiss like that! He would have known instantly that I was clueless, been disgusted, and walked away!"
    "So you put him on The Ledge instead of vice versa." Allie handed me a tube of lip gloss. "Try this. You need to clean up before your mom gets here."
    "No, I didn't put him on the Ledge I made a total fool of myself and convinced him not to waste time with me." I flopped back on the sidewalk, not even caring that dirt was grinding into my sweater. What did it matter? I was never showing my face in public again. I draped my arms over my face and tried to pretend I didn't exist.
    "I think you're wrong." Allie tapped the lip gloss against her chin, staring thoughtfully across the street at a man walking his German Shepherd.
    Something about Allie's tone caught my interest, and I dragged my arm off my face so I could peek at her. "What do you mean? Wrong about what?"
    "Well,