Free A Beautiful Struggle by Emily McKee

to say was, “I’ll be there with you for as long as you’ll have me.”

Chapter 7

    Derrick

    Breathing heavily , I struggled with the words. “I think it’s time I told my parents.”
    Pat grabbed the remote from the coffee table directly in front of us and turned off the television. Really, it was just noise in the background while I worked on homework or Patrick worked on inventory for the bookstore that he and his grandparents owned.
    Placing the papers onto the table , Patrick turned to me. “Are you sure about that, Derr?”
    Letting out a huff , I nodded. “Yes. I think I am.” I knew there really was never going to be a right time. There never is a right time for anything. I think you kind of just have to go with it.
    But it had been three months since Patrick and I started hanging out. We quickly became a couple and we were getting pretty close and very serious. For once in my life, I was really happy with everything. I was finally able to live my life, something I hadn’t done for a really long time. I always felt like I’d been lying to everyone, and I was done hiding myself.
    “I’m sure.” I looked at Patrick. “I’m just tired of hiding who I really am. I want everyone to know who I am. I want my parents to meet you, Pat. You mean so much to me and I’m really happy with where I am.” I shrugged. “I know it’ll be hard for them at first, but I can’t hide who I am for the rest of my life. Fuck, I want to start living it.”
    I heard Patrick let out a sigh so I turned to him. Grabbing ahold of his hands, I said, “Pat I’m living my life with you, but I want to introduce you to my parents. I want them to get to know you. You mean so much to me, Pat, and I want to share my relationship with my parents. I—”
    Within seconds , Patrick was grabbing my head and slamming his lips to mine. I couldn’t believe how rough he was and it excited me. Of course we had done things within the few months we had been dating, but we hadn’t done “the deed” itself. Neither of us were virgins, but I had only had sex with girls. I’d never been with a guy. Patrick was the opposite of me in that sense. He had only been with guys and never girls.
    I admired Patrick so much. He knew who he was and what he wanted. He wasn’t ashamed of who he was and couldn’t give a rat’s ass what people thought of him. He was out and proud, and if people didn’t like it or accept it, then they could fuck off. But me? All I thought about was what people would think. Not necessarily strangers walking down the street, but my close friends and family.
    My family mattered so much to me. I knew my mom would be okay with it, but my dad was a whole different story. I knew that coming out to him could potentially ruin my relationship with him, but I just couldn’t take it anymore. Hiding who I really was. I don’t think there really is ever a right time for anything. I think it’s just you get to a certain point and you can’t take hiding who you really are anymore. You’re no longer ashamed.
    Releasing my face , Patrick leaned back and looked up at me with a smile. I smiled back. Thoughts began to race through my mind. I couldn’t believe just how beautiful Patrick really was. Not only was he a sexy guy, but his soul was so pure and beautiful. He always put others before himself and I knew I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life.
    Staring down at him , I wanted to tell him how much I loved him. I think I fell in love with him when we first met and when we had breakfast with his grandparents. I wanted desperately to tell him now, but I wanted to get this over with my parents.
    Getting up off the floor , Patrick sat on my lap and wrapped his arms around me. “We’re going to Las Vegas for Iz’s birthday and Sarah and Gabe’s party soon. Did you want to tell them before or after?”
    “Before.” Shaking my head, I said, “I’ve waited so long already.” I looked into Patrick’s eyes. “I’m tired of