Free Requiem by Jamie McGuire Page B

in his arms the
last few weeks and then left sometime after. Jack and Gabe stayed
out of my head, and I slept through the night, never realizing
Jared was gone. He was getting so good at pinpointing when I would
rouse he usually slid next to me just before I awoke. Once again,
life was semi-normal.
    His hand slid over mind as it rested on the
console of the Escalade. “Something came for you today.”
    “ A letter?” I asked,
nervous.
    Jared let go of my hand, pulling an envelope
from his jacket pocket. Ryan had finally written again.
     
    Nigh,
    I still think about you
every day. Sometimes whether I want to or not. Things have been
pretty busy. The new company I’m in is a whole new breed of
soldiers. I like it, but I miss you. When I get a chance, I sit and
watch the sunset, and think about our game, and the pub, and your
stupid temper tantrums. I miss it all. Tell everyone I said
hi.
    Ryan
     
    I folded the paper back to its original
shape.
    “ Do I have to remind you
that this isn’t your fault?” Jared asked.
    Ryan’s sudden departure was too much of a
coincidence to believe that it wasn’t my fault, but Jared, Kim, and
Beth all assured me quite regularly that his reasons were purely
financial.
    He didn’t write again after that, and I
relied on Jared’s intermittent phone calls from Claire to hear of
his whereabouts, and that he was okay.
    Claire still had to pull a multitude of
strings to keep a close eye on Ryan. She called home frequently to
complain of Ryan’s lack of self-preservation, which helped to get
him accepted so quickly into the Special Forces in the first place.
Claire’s phone calls were reason to fear; for Ryan and for her. I
chewed my thumbnail each time Jared answered the phone, waiting for
him to assure me that Ryan’s commando behavior hadn’t gotten him
killed.
    As our small, but close group of friends
waved goodbye on the last day of our sophomore year at Brown, Ryan
came to the forefront of my mind.
    “ He should be here,” I said
to Beth.
    She held my arm as we walked to the parking
lot. “I know.”
    “ No, he’s in the middle of
nowhere, prone on a sand dune, trying not to get shot so he didn’t
have to watch me be with Jared. It’s not fair. He should be here
with us.”
    Josh and Tucker were heading to their dorm
to pack and head home, and Kim walked with them, punching Josh in
the arm. The opening of Summer Break was bittersweet, and we all
knew why.
    Beth walked me to the Escalade, and after a
warm embrace, left me to find Chad. They would all meet at the Pub
that night to celebrate, and I would stay at home. It didn’t feel
right to have fun when Ryan was fighting for his life.
    Jared was unhappy with my mood. He didn’t
ask what it was, but I assumed he knew. I didn’t enjoy talking to
him about Ryan. It was unfair to him, and didn’t make me feel any
better, so I didn’t see a point.
    The loft was immaculate, and the summer sun
lit the beige walls, making every corner of the room glow. It had
been nearly a year since Shax had been in our living room, since
Jared threw the book at him that Gabe so desperately wanted us to
have. It had been almost a year since I was shot. I rubbed my thigh
where the scar still remained.
    Jared flipped through the mail at the
kitchen table. “What do you want for dinner, Sweetheart?”
    “ It just doesn’t seem to
get better,” I said, shaking my head. “We can redecorate, and fill
the bullet holes in the walls, and pretend life is normal…but
you’re gone every night, and we aren’t any closer to getting the
book, and Ryan is gone. It’s been a year and it doesn’t feel like
it’s gotten better. We’re stuck.”
    Jared raised an eyebrow. “Bad day?”
    I sat on the arm of the couch. “He’s going
to get killed. Every day that he’s out there, Claire is in danger.
We should bring him home.”
    “ You’re suggesting that we
go to the Middle East and abscond with a member of the Special
Forces?”
    I puffed.