Free Love, Rosie by Cecelia Ahern

I suspected.

    Why Jessica Fletcher, what did you suspect?

love, rosie
    85
    Ruby:

    Rosie:

    Ruby:

    Greg:

    Rosie:
    He’s jealous.

    Alex is not jealous!

    Alex is jealous of your relationship with Greg; he feels threatened.

    So what time should I call over to you tonight? 7 or 8?

    No, Alex is not jealous of my relationship with Greg! Why should

    he be? He’s married to perfect pretty little Sally, happily might I add

    (at least according to Sally) and I have a lovely photograph of the

    two of them lying on the beach together looking very much in love

    just to prove it. I gave him a chance to be part of Katie’s life and

    mine and he chose to remain my friend, which is what I have now

    come to terms with. It’s fine. Now I am in a relationship with Greg,

    he’s wonderful and I no longer care about Alex in that way at all

    whatsoever ! So that’s all I have to say about that thank you very

    much! I am over Alex, he is not interested in me and now I am in

    love with Greg! So there!
    Greg:
    Well . . . thank you for sharing all that with me Rosie, I can’t tell

    you enough how thrilled I am to hear that you are no longer in love

    with a man named Alex “ at all whatsoever ” as you so articulately

    put it . . .
    Rosie:
    Oh my god Ruby!! I just sent Greg the message that was supposed

    to be for you!! Fuck fuck FUCKETY FUCK! I TOLD HIM I

    LOVED HIM!!!!
    Greg:

    Rosie:

    Ruby:
    Em . . . that eh . . . went to me again Rosie . . . sorry . . .

    Oh . . .

    Oh what??

chapter 12
    k
    Rosie:

    Ruby:
    OK so that has to be the singularly most embarrassing thing that

    has ever happened to me, without any doubts, NO exceptions!!!

    What about the time you wore that white dress out to a club with

    no underwear on and someone spilled water all over you and it was

    suddenly completely see-through?
    Rosie:

    Ruby:
    OK so that was pretty embarrassing.

    And what about the time you were in the supermarket and you

    grabbed another little girl’s hand by mistake and started dragging

    her out to the car while Katie waited inside crying her eyes out.
    Rosie:

    Ruby:

    Rosie:
    That little girl’s mother said it was fine and she dropped the

    charges . . .

    And what about the time—

    OK that’s enough thank you! I take back what I said, it was not the

    most embarrassing thing that has ever happened, but it’s pretty

    much up there with the all-time classics. The number one embar-

    rassing moment being the time I kissed Alex.
    Ruby:

    Rosie:

    Ruby:

    Rosie:
    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

    Oh come on you’re supposed to make me feel better.

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

    Oh the joy of having supportive friends. I’m going now; Randy

love, rosie
    87
    Andy is glaring at me like a schoolmaster over the rim of his incred-

    ibly sexy brown-rimmed spectacles.

    Ruby:

    Rosie:

    Ruby:

    Rosie:

    Ruby:

    Rosie:

    Maybe he wants you to be the naughty schoolgirl.

    Well he’s just a few years too late for that. I think he wants to kill

    me, his nostrils are flaring and he’s breathing quite heavily

    Are his hands above the desk?

    Uuugh! Ruby stop!

    What?! You don’t think they call him Randy Andy for nothing do

    you?

    I hate open plan offices, he can see me from every corner of this

    room, and he can also see my legs underneath the desk. Oh my,

    now he’s staring at my legs.

    Ruby:

    Rosie:

    Rosie you really need to get out of that office. It’s not healthy.

    I know, I’m working on it but I can’t quit until I get another job and

    that’s proving to be rather difficult. Apparently no one really cares

    about whether or not you work as a secretary in a paper-clip factory.

    Ruby:

    Rosie:

    Ruby:

    Rosie:

    Hmm . . . how odd . . . And it sounds so glamorous, you would

    think . . . Honestly, some people . . .

    Oh my god, he has now moved his chair over so he can get a better

    look. Hold on a minute while I send him a message, I’ve had enough!

    Don’t!

    Why not? I’ll just send him a polite message