Free Withering Tights by Louise Rennison Page B

liked me. Perhaps she did.
    She twitched my hat, which is annoying. Especially as it had probably made my hair stick up. She said, “Sweet. How you doing little Oirish, are youoiright? Are ye haven the crack?”
    Then Lavinia said, “Oh, and there is another performance lunchtime in a fortnight, you should try and do a little something for it. I’d be glad to help with anything you have an idea about.”
    And she went bouncing off. She is very bouncy, if you know what I mean.
    Vaisey said, “She’s really nice, isn’t she?”
    Flossie said, “Hmm.”
    And I said, “Hmm.”
    But not in an entirely good ‘hmm’ way.
    Honey said, “She’th got a vewy nithe complexthun.”
    It was a lovely day and Jo said, “Oh, I don’t know. Where should we have lunch, here do you think? Or it’s such a nice day…what about in the woods, maybe?”
    And we all went, “Oh…yeah, that’s a good idea. If you like, yeah. I don’t mind.” Really casually. As if we hadn’t given meeting Charlie and Phil a second thought.
    We went into the woods and settled down under the dancing tree.
    Talking about our morning, I said, “Dr Lightowler hates me.”
    Vaisey said, “You’re not wrong. But why did you have to be a broom? Why couldn’t you just flit around being a bat? Anything. Why a dancing Irish broomstick?”
    I said, “I don’t know, it’s because she notices me so much, it makes my brain freeze and when my brain freezes my legs get out of control.”
    Jo was munching her way through twenty-five apples. She’s got a very healthy appetite for a small person. She said, “I wonder if the Woolfe boys will come over. Have you seen them around the village?”
    I said, “Why, are you missing them?”
    Jo nearly choked on her Granny Smith. “No. How could I miss them when I don’t know them?”
    Flossie said, “I think you’ve been thinking about Phil, haven’t you? You were talking in your sleep last night saying, ‘Phil, Phil, I want you’.”
    Jo said, “I was not. Anyway, how would you know? I had to come and put your teddy pyjama case over your face to drown out your snoring.”
    Flossie said, “Are you telling me that you touched my teddy pyjama case in the night?”
    Jo said, “Yes.”
    Flossie got up. “That does it. Come on, let’s fight. You teddy toucher.”
    Jo got up and said, “I warn you, I’m smallish, but…”
    Flossie, who was limbering up like a prize fighter, said, “I know, I know, I’ve seen your inner Hulk. Come on!! I’ve been cramped up in that damn vicarage all morning with consumption. I want to live, I want to live!!!!!”
    I got up then and shouted, “I am not an Irish dancing broomstick, I’m a human being!!!!”
    And suddenly it turned into a wrestling match. Even Honey tucked her skirt into her knickers and dived on to the top of the pile.
    I couldn’t see my feet.
    But I knew what I could feel.
    I said, “Oy, will whoever is grasping my nearly corker area get off.”
    I heard Vaisey’s muffled voice say, “Sorry, I wasjust stopping myself from falling over.”
    Then Flossie, who had my head in an arm lock, said, “Oy, leave my bum alone!”
    And that is when a lad’s voice joined in.
    “Bloody hell, fightin’ lasses!”
    What!
    When we eventually disentangled and got up, in front of us were two very dark-haired boys. Is there a whole tribe of forest boys who just appear all the time when girls are doing private group work? They had leather jackets on and slung around their necks were guitars in guitar cases. I recognised them. Oh goodie. They were the two boys I had seen fighting on the bench on my second day in Heckmondwhite. I took a bit of a twig that had got caught in my leggings and put it in my mouth like a cigarette. I don’t know why.
    There was something menacing about the boys. They were staring at us from under their dark hair. One of them spat on the ground and I realised it was the pig poker, he was the one who’d beenprodding Streaky and