Free Patterns in the Dark (Dragon Blood Book 4) by Lindsay Buroker

all of eternity with him. So many female soldiers she had known had left the service soon after they had gone starry-eyed and proclaimed love for this or that man. Those women had traded their careers for staying at home and being mothers, and Cas couldn’t imagine wanting that, not at this point in her life and maybe not ever. Was that something Tolemek wanted? Was he thinking they should marry eventually? And have children? And that she should quit the squadron? No, he had never hinted of such a thing. She should not make assumptions. Even though she had the distinct impression he would be happier if she didn’t work for Zirkander.
    She pushed her hand through her short hair, probably tearing a few pieces out. Tolemek shifted beside her on the bed.
    “Sorry,” she mumbled again, realizing she had been silent for a while. “I didn’t mean to make light. I’m just—I don’t know if I’m ready… I mean, I like you, Tolemek. More than like. You’re very…” Seven gods, she was mangling this. Why hadn’t he warned her first, so she could rehearse something?
    “Never mind. I shouldn’t have brought it up.” Tolemek stood up, and her hand fell away. He took a couple of paces and stopped, facing the door, his chin to his chest.
    Cas swallowed, knowing she had hurt him by not having the right words, by not saying his words back to him. But she did not want to lie or utter something she did not fully mean.
    “Cas?” He lifted his head, but continued to face the door instead of her. “If you have to choose between going with Zirkander to find the dragon and going with me to find Tylie…” He finally turned back toward her, his dark eyes intent. “Which will you choose?”
    She held back a grimace. It had occurred to her that this question might come up over the course of this mission, and she didn’t want to have to make that choice. “I don’t understand,” she said, more to buy time to think than because she didn’t. “Don’t we still believe that your sister and the dragon are in the same place?”
    “I hope they are. I’m not certain of it, especially after talking to the port master. I thought I would ask around more tomorrow, see if anyone recognizes her.”
    “The colonel wants to leave tomorrow.”
    Tolemek’s jaw tightened. She shouldn’t have mentioned Zirkander.
    “But I think your answers are going to be where this dragon is,” Cas hurried to add. “Why the Cofah took your sister and how she ties in with the creature. It makes sense to stick with the, uh, the others. Besides, we might need your help. If there’s another big Cofah research facility…”
    “We.” Tolemek gazed at her, as if she had inadvertently given her answer, and it did not sit well with him.
    She didn’t know what else to say. She was on the clock, not out here on some personal quest. It wasn’t about picking Zirkander over him. Her duty was to follow her superior officer. That was it. If she ran off on some side trip with Tolemek, she would be absent without leave. She would be risking her career. Maybe he did expect her to choose him over her career.
    “It won’t take us that long to get there and look around,” Cas said, afraid Tolemek truly thought he needed to go off on his own and search elsewhere. “It’s less than forty miles from here to the base of the mountain. Granted, if there’s not a path, that’ll be slow going, but I can’t imagine it taking more than three days each way. We’ll be back in a week. You’ll either have your answers, or you’ll have more of a clue as to where to go to find them. To find her.”
    “Yes, of course.” Tolemek turned back toward the door. “If we’re leaving tomorrow, I better go back out tonight and ask around.” He touched his vest pocket, where he kept the pictures of the flowers and one of his sister, as well.
    Cas stood. “Do you want me to go with you?”
    “No. Stay here. Get some rest. The bath you’ve been wanting.” He gave her a quick