Free Pandora's Box by Cristiane Serruya

beautiful baby daughter.”
    By then, Alistair was ranting and not reasoning anymore.
    All the times he had awakened in the mornings and discovered she had sneaked away to work, he felt lied to. Cheated. Hurt.
    “Why? Because you don’t have to prove yourself? To whom? What for? Gabriel had enough money to support you. You alone, as an heiress, had enough money to enjoy a few months of less work, or no work at all. I don’t know why he let you run free at your own will. Have none of your therapists told you that you have PTSD?”
    “Wait! Wait a minute here. Now you’re faulting me because of Gabriela ? I had a wonderful and healthy pregnancy, no health problems whatsoever. And I don’t have a disorder . Not PTSD, nor OCD, Alistair Connor. I have normal reactions to great traumas, which is quite different.” She frowned, not understanding why he was accusing her so poignantly and unfairly. “Those things really happened to me. I didn’t dream them. I lost my parents, so what better thing to do? Study. It was that or rebellion and drugs. I had to dedicate myself to something no one could take away from me and kept me steady. What better way than with books? And Gabriel, Gabriel was special. Then I lost a grandmother a few months before Gabriela was born. I was shot twice. My husband was kidnapped. My in-laws drugged me. I lost my husband—” She moved to the edge of the chair, surprising him.
    He looked down at her hands which were gripping the bamboo arms of her chair. Her knuckles were white. Oh, fuck! “Calm down, Beauty. I didn’t—”
    “You started. Let me finish,” she said curtly. “And eleven men were killed because of my immaturity. And you know what? I wanted them all dead, but I was not courageous enough to demand it. It happened anyway.” Her voice had risen and she was off the chair, her knees slighty bent, looking him in the eyes. “And it didn’t bring Gabriel back. As a punishment, I had my daughter taken from me. By policemen, crying and screaming. I had to flee my own country in a very bad state of physical and mental health. I don’t know how I did it, but I did it. I started living under a pseudonym, hiding! In a new country. I’ll be forever grateful to Edward for helping me adjust again, and of course—” to Ethan.
    His face darkened as if he knew what she was going to say, but he had himself under control so quick she thought she had imagined it.
    Ethan does not need to pop up here. For an instant she lost her train of thought, but she quickly returned to it. “ But , of course , all I ever did was go to Leibowitz Oil and return home. My life was nothing but work and Gabriela. I existed no more. I didn’t even go to my grandfather’s or Felipe’s wife’s burial. Felipe spent what seemed like an eternity in the hospital. And still I stayed in hiding. I only went to visit him during Carnival, when I was sure my in-laws were traveling abroad. I was afraid, frightened of stepping out of the boundaries I had set; of returning to Brazil and being discovered. We were taught that we had to be the best at what we did and not bow under difficulties.” She didn’t notice but she was almost shouting. “As long as I had time to be with Gabriela in the mornings and in the afternoons, as long as I got to put her to bed, I strained myself with business work and exercise. Until I was so, so very tired that I could hardly drag myself back to bed praying for sleep without nightmares or screams!”
    Alistair Connor, what have you triggered?! He chided himself, and without noticing his hands had covered hers, and he had leaned toward her. “Stop, Sophia. It’s okay, it’s all right.”
    “So what if I have a few accomplishments? A few badges of honor for myself? Things that couldn’t be taken away from me so easily? Things that filled my broken heart and didn’t let me ask too often, why me ? WHY ME?!” she shouted. She took a deep breath. “So, what if I tried to be perfect?! YES! The