Free From Dust and Ashes by Tricia Goyer Page A

leave this horrible place behind.”
    “I can go too?” Helene released Katharina’s shoulders. It had been all she’d wanted since she first realized what the camp was about. “When?”
    “Tomorrow. Father promised my brothers would be here by then. We won’t be able to take much with us, but we won’t need to. My parents will make sure we have everything we need.”
    Helene’s heartbeat quickened as she thought about a new life in France. A chance to start over. An opportunity to leave the horrors behind. Then she remembered the women. She couldn’t bring them this far only to leave now. Helene let out a low moan and sank into a small chair.
    “What’s wrong?” Katharina asked. “It’s what we’ve been wanting.”
    “I can’t do it.” Helene recalled the expression on Michaela’s face as her head rested on a pillow for the first time in years.
    “What do you mean, you can’t?”
    “I have obligations. I’ve promised to help some women.”
    Katharina crossed her arms over her chest. “Just tell them you can’t do it. I’m talking about leaving. Starting a new life. I don’t care if I never set foot in this terrible place again.”
    Helene noticed Katharina had said nothing of her SS husband and the part he’d played in this new life. Had she heard any news from him? Or had he been killed, like Friedrich? Helene was afraid to ask.
    Katharina lowered her voice. “We will come for you tomorrow and—”
    “Nein.” Helene stood. “I can’t leave my father again either.”
    “Helene, you haven’t talked to him in years. At least think about it. Sleep on it.”
    “I will. I promise.” Helene walked back into the kitchen. She found Anika asleep on a small rug in front of the fire. She lifted her daughter into her arms and carried her to the entrance.
    Katharina opened the door. “I’ll be by in the morning,” she said as Helene headed into the night.
    But even as she walked as quietly as she could—her ears attuned to the slightest noise—Helene knew her decision would not change. She would stay. She had to.
    For once she’d think of them.

    Thirty minutes after leaving the farmhouse, Helene eased Anika’s sleeping body onto Helene’s own childhood bed. She unfolded the downy white comforter and tucked it around the girl’s shoulders. Anika’s soft blonde hair feathered across the pillow like a halo of fluff.
    Was she doing the right thing? Was she putting her children in danger by not leaving this place?
    There’s too much to consider , Helene thought, settling into a chair by the window. She lifted her apron to her face. The smell of the camp still clung to her.
    With a sigh, Helene pulled the shoes off her swollen feet. She felt pressure on her rounded stomach as she bent down, and she rubbed the spot where her baby rested.
    When standing, it was still easy to hide her pregnancy. With her long torso, she hadn’t shown with Anika until her seventh month. Even now she simply looked plump, like many of the women in the village.
    Helene pulled the pins from her hair. It tumbled across her shoulders as she leaned forward to rub her aching arches. But their pain could not compare to the hurt she carried within her heart.
    Friedrich is dead , she reminded herself. She had wanted to tell Katharina, but couldn’t. She knew the emotions she’d been damming up would break through if she had.
    Throughout the day, images of her husband had filled her mind. Not memories of the man he had become, but of their first few months of marriage, when laughter filled their home and humor lit up his eyes. For that man she mourned.
    Helene straightened in her chair. She found a handkerchief in her apron pocket to wipe the tears dripping from her chin. In that same pocket was the photo she had found on the desk and the letter she’d been putting off reading all day.
    Anika stirred on the bed, then settled down again. Outside, Helene heard her father venturing to the outhouse. She had to admit she did