Free Forgive Me by Lesley Pearse

had predicted, it was a nine-day wonder.
They had a few weeks of going in there every night after school and at the weekends, but
gradually their enthusiasm tapered off, as did Andrew’s. Eva couldn’t
remember when she’d last seen him use it.
    Was that what was wrong between them? Did
Flora feel trapped in a middle-class world with a control freak – a man who liked to
impress the neighbours with his ride-on lawn mower, his swimming pool and a new
top-of-the-range car every year? He played squash with other men, occasionally went to
watch cricket or rugby with someone, but Eva didn’t think he had even one really
close friend. She remembered once, when he and her mother were planning a dinner party,
Flora had complained that one of the couples he’d chosen were very dull.
Andrew’s reply had been that they were ‘well connected’. Eva supposed
that meant he thought they could be useful to him.
    None of these things had fully registered
with Eva before today. About the only thing she’d really noticed was that Flora
was at her happiest when she was gardening or being creative. She wished so much that
she’d thought to ask her mother how she felt about things – deeper questions that
might have given her some insight into what made her mother tick.
    Maybe that was part of the reason why Flora
killedherself; because she felt her family took no interest in her as
a person? It must have been very demoralizing to be thought of as just a mother and
housewife, especially if she’d once been a successful artist.
    Only one certainty had come out of the
events of today, and that was that Eva must find a place of her own as quickly as
possible. Around six, after everyone had left, Andrew had totally ignored her as she was
clearing up. She’d heard him praise Ben and Sophie for holding themselves together
and acting with dignity, yet she didn’t even get a thank-you for buying and
preparing the food.
    She wasn’t going to stay on here as an
unappreciated skivvy. Tomorrow she’d make an appointment with the solicitor, and
she’d start looking for a flat.
    On Monday afternoon, five days after the
funeral, Eva left work early for her appointment with Mr Bailey, the solicitor. After
seeing him she was going to view a bedsitter. She would take it, whatever it was like,
as the atmosphere at home had become poisonous since the funeral.
    It was like walking on eggshells with
Andrew. He snapped at her about everything – from moving his piles of paperwork from the
kitchen to his study, to asking what he’d like for an evening meal. He kept saying
the house was a tip, but he was as much to blame as Sophie and Ben. She was trying so
hard to run the house, to keep up with the washing, ironing, shopping and cooking while
working full time too. But all he did was complain and criticize.
    Sophie sucked up to him constantly, and
continued to do nothing to help around the house. Ben escaped as often as he could.
    On Saturday morning Eva was just going past
her parents’ bedroom when she saw Andrew pulling all their mother’sclothes out of the wardrobes and drawers and stuffing them into black
bin liners. She was so shocked she couldn’t stop herself from asking what he was
going to do with them.
    ‘I’m taking them to a charity
shop,’ he snapped.
    ‘Isn’t it a bit soon?’ she
ventured. ‘And some of her clothes were very expensive.’
    ‘I know that, I paid for them,’
he retorted, not even looking up from stuffing a beautiful brown velvet jacket into the
bag.
    ‘What if I sorted them out and took
the best vintage ones to sell back to that shop Mum bought them from?’ she
suggested.
    ‘So you can have the money?’ he
said with a nasty sneer. ‘My God, Eva, you are a piece of work!’
    She burst into tears, because nothing had
been further from her mind. What she wanted was to see him treating her mother’s
belongings, whether that was clothes, jewellery or other things, with respect because he
had loved her.