Free Dark Times in the City by Gene Kerrigan

on the phone – I made a remark. Like I say, my big mouth, just something off the cuff about something that had nothing to do with you, someone else altogether. By the time it got to Karl, it was – there was a fuck-up – that’s the best way to explain it.’
    ‘This was no fuck-up, Mr Mackendrick, those two bastards, they knew what—’
    ‘Wrong place, Walter, wrong man. My fault. I don’t want you to blame Karl – he was doing what he thought – it was
my
fault, I should have been clearer – my responsibility. I swear to Jesus, last night we went through it, it’s all been straightened out – I mean, what can I say, Walter, all I can do is—’
    ‘It’s not good enough, Mr Mackendrick.’
    ‘I know that, Walter, and I’ll see that we make it up to you. All my fault.’
    Silence. MacKendrick wondered if he’d sounded too contrite.
    He won’t buy too much meekness
.
    He put the slightest edge into his voice.
    ‘Be reasonable, Walter – a right royal fuck-up on my part, but I’ve made it clear to everyone – this was my fault, no one else’s, and you’re an innocent party. You’re an important part of the team.’
    ‘Fuck that, Mr Mackendrick – they almost killed me.’
    ‘Let me make this up to you, Walter. Wherever you’re staying, you know now it’s safe for you to go home. Home ground, Walter, you and I can—’
    ‘No.’
    ‘Wherever you say, we’ll meet wherever you say, the two of us, we’ll sort—’
    ‘No, no meeting.’
    ‘Whatever you want. But you have to be reasonable. Give me an address, so we can send – I know, I know, it won’t make up for what happened, but some compensation is on the cards, just a token of—’
    ‘This isn’t about fucking compensation.’
    Mackendrick said, ‘I know you’re upset, Walter, you’ve a right. Fuck sake,
I’m
upset, and I won’t be happy until we put this shit behind us.’
    Put it up to the little bastard
.
    ‘I hope you accept that, Walter.’
    ‘I want to believe you, Mr Mackendrick.’
    Silence again.
    ‘I hope you do, Walter. I really hope you do.’
    Mackendrick paused, as though searching for the right words. ‘I need to show you – I’m really, there’s no other way to say it, Walter, I’m embarrassed, really embarrassed. I want you to know that. I want you to see that. In person. When you feel comfortable. Tonight, maybe.’
    Walter didn’t respond.
    ‘Or maybe tomorrow – maybe you can ring me again?’
    ‘Tomorrow,’ Walter said, ‘I’ll ring you again, Mr Mackendrick, and we’ll arrange something.’
    It’s not what he said
.
    What Mackendrick said, it made a kind of sense, it might be true.
    Except for what happened when Walter lost his temper.
    ‘
This isn’t about fucking compensation
.’
    Walter felt an immediate surge of regret and fear. He’d never dared display such irritation with Mackendrick. And when the reply came back instantly, Walter knew it was all bullshit.
    ‘
I know you’re upset, Walter, you’ve a right
.’ Calm, sympathetic, understanding. No matter what the circumstances, Mackendrick wouldn’t take cheek from anyone, least of all someone he usually treated like a halfwit. He was being too understanding.
    ‘
You’re an important part of the team
.’
    How fucking dumb does he think I am?
    This wasn’t about a mistake, about compensation or wanting to make things right – this was about Mackendrick getting his hands on Walter.
    Fuck that
.
    The offer of money was tempting, but money wouldn’t keep you warm if you were face down in the Dublin mountains.
    ‘
Tomorrow, I’ll ring you again, Mr Mackendrick, and we’ll arrange something
.’
    Yeah, right
.
    The sensible thing to do was to get out now. The money from Garda Templeton-Smith, the couple of hundred that was all he could get from an ATM, that would be enough to get him to Glasgow. He had a few hundred in a bank, some more in the Credit Union, but his account books were in his apartment and he wasn’t going