Free How to Ruin Your Boyfriend's Reputation by Simone Elkeles Page A

cheating husbands."
    "I didn't chea--" Avi runs his hand over his grown-out buzz cut. "Just let me know. Are we breaking up?"
    "That depends. Did you kiss Liron just once?"
    "No."
    "Twice?"
    "No."
    "Three times?"
    "Amy..."
    "Answer me, Avi. Three times?"
    "I didn't count."
    "Maybe you should have. What did you think, that you could just fast for Yom Kippur come September, repent it one day, and God would wipe your sinning slate clean? What, you think God has only one book? I bet he's got lots of books, Avi, just filled with names of sinners. Because while God may inscribe you in the Book of Life for another year, he's probably also inscribing you in the Book of Cheaters."
    His eyes get darker when he's angry. They're definitely dark now. "Whatever, Amy. I can't talk to you when you're being irrational. If God's got a Book of Irrational People,
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    you're at the top of the list." He whips off his backpack and picks up our team shovel from the ground. "Get out," he orders Tori and Nathan, who immediately scramble out of the ditch.
    Avi sheds his military vest. We all watch in awe as Avi finishes digging in less than three minutes.
    "When he's done, we get back in formation and start marching back to base. After a half hour, he gives us a five-minute break and orders us to drink from our canteens. He does this every half hour. When we reach the base, he orders us to drink what's left in our canteen.
    I'm too angry to drink.
    He steps in front of me. I can feel the heat of the mid-morning sun, but I can also feel the heat of Avis gaze on me. "Amy, finish the water."
    "Maybe I already did."
    "I might be just a sheep farmer to you back at the moshav, but here I outrank you whether you like it or not. Drink it all, or you'll dump whatever's left in the canteen on your head."
    A bee decides to hover between us. I hate bees almost as much as spiders.
    "There's a bee about to sting us," I say, hoping to make him flinch, or at least get a reaction to remind me he's human.
    No such luck.
    "Drink or dump," he orders.
    I could drink what's left in my canteen, but my ego is
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    fragile and rebellious. I'm holding on to the little control I have left.
    "Yes, sir!" I say sarcastically, then salute my now ex-boyfriend.
    I slowly lift my canteen over my head. Avi is watching intently. I'm pretty sure the odds are 80 percent he'll stop me before a drop of liquid lands on my head, 20 percent he'll let me go through with the water-dumping. He has always come to my rescue in the past. This time, though, he's the one I need rescuing from.
    When my canteen is directly over my head, I realize there's a 100 percent chance he won't stop me.
    Pouring water on myself means that my straightened hair will end up a random, curly mess. I can't do it.
    "Do it."
    I clench my teeth and lift my chin in defiance. "No."
    Avi grabs my canteen, lifts it over my head, and turns it upside down. Water rushes down my scalp, making the hairs on the back of my neck stick straight up. It drips onto my neck and runs down my back Little rivers run down my face. I must look ridiculous, and it's all Avis fault.
    "You cooled off yet?" Avi asks.
    "Not by a long shot."
    He shoves the empty canteen in my hand, then eyes the rest of the team. "When you're finished, hold your canteen above your head and turn it upside down."
    A few people quickly drink what's left in their canteen, making sure not to leave a drop. I'm the only one with a mid-morning sprinkle.
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    I'm trying not to pay attention to Avi, but I can't help it. Against my better judgment, I focus on his lips. They're full and soft to the touch--I know because I've felt them with my fingers and my own lips.
    Ugh. I cannot believe Liron had her lips against his. I shudder just thinking about it.
    When Avi dismisses us to our bittan for cleanup time, I corner Nathan in the courtyard in front of the girls' barracks. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him lightly on the lips. "Please play along while Avi's watching," I