Free This Heart of Mine by Suzanne Hayes Page A

what I did, he’d honor me, and we’d be equals. We’d grow together, learning from each other and loving more and more as time went by.
    Robert wanted me to choose, but it didn’t even feel like a decision anymore.
    I turned back to Levi, whose eyes hadn’t left me.
    “No,” I mouthed.
    His eyes stayed locked on mine.
    I had to be strong, even if it hurt. He had to know with absolute certainty that I’d made my choice. That it wasn’t even a choice. Just a momentary lapse of judgment.
    I didn’t turn away from his gaze. I straightened my back and shook my head “No” again for emphasis.
    Then he put out his cigarette and disappeared behind the pavilion.
    Father had been right. Once he was gone, I felt liberated. Like myself again.
    I walked toward Robert then and called his name. My voice broke as I called him. He ran to me and held me at arm’s length.
    I couldn’t stop the tears that came, and I didn’t want to. They were happy tears. “I love you, Robert, I’ve always loved you!” I said. And as I said it, I felt a burden lift off of my heart. I felt free, that calm ocean my father had told me about.
    “You’re really sure?” he asked, his hands gripped on my shoulders.
    I nodded, tears streaming down my face. I didn’t care. Maybe crying is like wearing shoes—not comfortable, but necessary. Sometimes.
    He wrapped me in his arms and kissed the top of my head. He smoothed my hair back from my forehead and looked at me as though he could see right inside of me. “I love you, Ladygirl. Boy oh boy, do I love you.”
    Then he lifted me and swung me around and announced, “Hey, everyone! We’re getting married!”
    A huge round of applause burst into the air around us. Everyone was clapping. I could even imagine my parents clapping in heaven.
    And when I got up the courage to look around for Levi, he wasn’t there. I wished naïvely that he could celebrate with us, that all would be forgotten and we could go back to the way things were. Only that isn’t what happens in life, is it? Things never go back to the way they were; you have to enjoy the way things are. Not the past, not the future, the present.
    And so there it is. My disastrous and wonderful summer of 1940, full of endings and beginnings and the past meeting the future. May I never have to look back. Only forward.
    I can’t wait to go to California. I’m looking forward to it. But in truth, I can’t wait until we come home, here, to Rockport and begin our new life together. I hope to have many children. And my dreams for them aren’t lofty ones, not like the ones my mother had for me. All I dream for them is that they inherit their father’s laughing eyes and shining smile. My Robert. May we never be separated, even for a moment. Now that I have him, I won’t ever let him go.
    * * * * *
    Find out how Rita’s and Glory’s lives intersect in I’LL BE SEEING YOU.
Told through their letters during WWII, this incredible story brings together two unforgettable women who have never met in person yet share an unbreakable bond of friendship.

About the Authors
    SUZANNE HAYES is the author of the forthcoming novel The Witch of Little Italy (written as Suzanne Palmieri) and her essays have been published in Life Learning Magazine and Full of Crow : On the Wing edition. She lives with her husband and three daughters in New Haven, Connecticut.
    LORETTA NYHAN has worked as a journalist and copywriter, and currently teaches college writing and humanities. She lives in the Chicago area with her husband and family. I’ll Be Seeing You is her first novel.
    www.suzyandloretta.com

ISBN: 9781460311943
    THIS HEART OF MINE
    Copyright © 2013 by Suzanne Palmieri and Loretta Nyhan
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