Free The Big O (The Virgin Diaries) by HJ Bellus

Kane who clutches to my hand. “You better pray that man has a chichiwawa, Miss Olander.”

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    C hapter9
    The Humping Dog Syndrome
    “Fuck, shit, bitch.” I sling the foundation bottle across the bathroom.
    “Calm yo’ titties before you stroke the fuck out, O.” Scout picks up the bottle. “I’ve brought all my stuff.”
    “Perfect because my olive colored skin will look perfect in fucking albino foundation.”
    “Saying fuck every other word is not going to help your case in getting sausage in your wound-up taco tonight.”
    “Scout.” I glare at her.
    “Sit.” She pushes me down on my vanity stool. “You left a bottle at my house awhile back and I have it.”
    “Why am I so nervous? I don’t date anymore; it's just dinner.”
    “It’s a date and the first one you’ve ever been super excited about. I’ll get you one glass of wine in a second. ONE glass, O.”
    “Yeah, I know. I came in like a seasoned veteran last time with the wine.”
    “I love you.” Scout kisses my cheek before bouncing out of the bathroom.
    I hear the racket of glasses and the fridge door slamming shut. I catch my reflection in the mirror and study it. Why in the hell would a man like Oren be attracted to me? Almond shaped eyes, rich olive toned skin, a boring face with proportional features, straight long black hair, and that lingering question of what ethnic groups came together to make a freak like me.
    “Knock it off.” Scout hands me the glass of wine. “I’ll never understand why you can’t see your beauty, O. Shit, more men wanted you in college.”
    “Whatever.” I down half the glass.
    “It’s just my size D tits they’re attracted to. They all eyed you for your looks, genuine personality and real size C girls.”
    “I don’t know what it is.” I shrug.
    Scout busies herself applying my make-up and chattering away. “It’s hard for you not having your mom growing up. Don’t you remember us always in awe of her beauty and your dad smitten with her?”
    “Yeah,” I nod. “She was the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen.”
    Wine splatters on my forehead and the bridge of my nose as Scout’s hand connects to the side of my face in a punishing slap.
    “Then why can’t you ever see yourself as her? Jesus, do you think you have your dad’s nose that’s the size of Texas and that wart on his jawline or his wiry gray hair?”
    “Be nice,” I say as I wipe off the speckles of wine.
    “I am, but I refuse to let you beat yourself down and not love yourself, O. You’re gorgeous. Oren sees that, so go have fun tonight.”
    “Okay, okay, Mom.”
    “Let him kiss you, finger you…”
    “Shut the hell up, bitch.”
    Scout kneels down in front of me, wiping the rest of the wine from my face and fixing my makeup. “Seriously, and I know we aren’t serious very often, but Olivia, I worry about you. You’re too hard on yourself. You’re a gorgeous, strong, stubborn, and very amazing person. You deserve a better half, so quit degrading yourself.”
    “Thanks, Scout.”
    She reaches up, seizing my nipple between her finger and thumb and gives it one hell of a twist. “Now, let’s get you dressed up like a first rate hooker.”
    She bounds off into the other room before I can talk and I’m left staring into the mirror. For the first time, I see hints of my mom in my features. I’ll never be as beautiful as her and never was meant to be. I’m the perfect combination of her and my father. I’ll never admit it to Scout, but she’s right.
    I walk into my bedroom. “He told me to wear my tight khakis.”
    “Perfect! Pair it with this tight titty hugging peach lacy blouse and these heels.”
    “Heels? Um no, we are going to dinner, not the damn opera.”
    “You’ll wear them and wow him.”
    “It’s too much, Scout. I’ll look desperate.”
    “What’s the problem with that?” She rearranges her messy bun on the top of her head. “I’m pretty sure dragging your whole class down to the