Free Without You Here by Carter Ashby

know?"
    "It's a pretty important detail."
    "My God, Blake!" She stood and paced. "Yeah, okay. We used protection. Jesus Christ!"
    Well it was a relief, though a minor one.
    "Don't you want to know if it meant anything to me?" she asked.
    "You picked up a stranger in a bar. How much could it have meant?"
    She stopped and gaped at him. "It meant everything to me. I've never been treated so good in my life. I've never felt so...so whole as I was with him."
    "You're just being melodramatic."
    "No I'm not! Stop condescending to me! You think you know so much. You think you're so much better than me!"
    Blake shot to his feet. "I don't go around fucking strangers in bars, so yeah, right now I guess I do think I'm better than you. How the fuck could you do this to me?"
    She shoved her hands in her hair and squeezed her eyes shut.
    "Christ, Ettie," Blake murmured. He breathed in and out for a few moments. He sat back down on the couch and rested his face in his hands. He could figure this out. This was actually kind of a good thing because now she felt guilty. She'd stay with him, now. Unless, "Are you going to see him again?"
    She sat on the floor against the wall and hugged her knees to her chest. "No," she said softly. "It was just the weekend. It's over."
    He relaxed some. "Can you promise me it won't happen again?"
    She looked up at him, incredulous.
    "Can you?" he asked again.
    She stared for a long moment and he couldn't read her expression. Finally she nodded.
    "Good. Then we won't speak of it anymore. We'll start from here and we'll keep working at this relationship."
    "How can you still want me after this, Blake?" she asked.
    "You really don't listen, do you? I love you. Don't you know what that means? Don't you know that I'd do anything to keep you?"
    He waited for that look of hope and gratitude to enter her eyes. She always came around to realizing how lucky she was that he was so patient with her. But this time she just looked tired. And sad. At last she sighed and gave him a pathetic little smile. She came back to the sofa and snuggled up beside him. He held her and wondered if he'd just gotten her back, or if he was destined to lose her for good.
     

CHAPTER SIX
     
    Wyatt worked through the exhaustion, mainly because farm work didn't go on hold just because you missed your wife--or the strange girl you found yourself inexplicably falling for. But by Tuesday evening, he realized he should have just stayed in. He kept getting distracted and losing track of the chores.
    Stan, his brother, must have been the one elected to talk to him. He followed Wyatt home and they opened a six-pack on the back porch. "I've been meaning to ask, but didn't want to get punched in the face," Stan said, "is that a hickey?"
    Wyatt smiled sadly and stared out into the darkening sunset. "Yeah." He was pretty sure she'd wanted to make sure he remembered her. As though he could ever forget.
    "She was a good time, huh?"
    Wyatt rolled his eyes and downed half a beer.
    "It's just, you seem—“
    "She was great, okay?" He would just give Stan what he wanted so he wouldn't have to bumble through a bunch of awkward questions. "And now I can't get her out of my head. She's all I think about. But she's twenty-two, and I'm hardly fit company for a woman of any age. So I don't know. I don't know what to do."  
    Stan was quiet for a long moment. "Can't you see her again? I mean, did she—“
    "She said she wants to be my girlfriend." He smiled, again, feeling like an idiot for it. "I told her I wasn't looking for that. I just wanted to get together again and have some fun. She didn't seem to think she could handle that. So we said goodbye."
    "And now you're second guessing yourself?"
    "Shouldn't I be? I mean, how often do you meet someone like that? She just...she came right on to me and just didn't stop. I felt so...when I was with her I just felt...," Happy. He couldn't say the word. That was the whole problem. He didn't deserve to be happy.
    "Horny?"