Free Faithful to Laura by Kathleen Fuller

stranger.”
    “You’ve been back in Middlefield for, what, two months?”
    His father shook his head. “You nearly died a few weeks ago.
    This decision is rash.”
    “If anything, what’s happened to me since I came back to Middlefield brought me to the right decision. I should never have left. I wasn’t happy in the Yankee world.”
    “You weren’t happy being Amish either.”
    “But I am now.” He stepped toward his dad. “I’ve changed.
    God has forgiven me. The church has welcomed me back. Emma has agreed to be mei fraa . Why is none of that gut enough for you?”
    His father didn’t say anything. His gaze shifted, past Adam’s shoulder. Adam turned around to see what he was looking at.
    The only thing behind them was the inside of the barn.
    “What did you do while you lived in Michigan?”
    Adam turned back to his dad. “It doesn’t matter.”
    “ Ya , it does. Did you have a maedel ? A Yankee girlfriend?”
    Adam’s stomach turned. “Ya.”
    “Does Emma know?”
    He swallowed. “She doesn’t need to. It’s—”
    “In the past.” His father’s chin dipped as the corners of his eyes sagged. “Adam, were you with that girl?”
    “With her?”
    “I doubt you were innocent while you were gone. Your exact words, as I recall, were that you were determined to ‘be your own mann and live life by your rules, not God’s and not the Amish.’ Do you remember telling me that?”
    “More than once.” Adam bit the inside of his cheek.
    “I know what that means, especially when it comes to women.”
    Adam’s mouth dropped open as he realized what his father was saying. Heat crept up his neck. He should tell the old man to mind his business. But he couldn’t.
    His father was right. Adam couldn’t change the subject, ignore it, or, worse, deny what happened. Still, the humiliation he felt made it next to impossible to get the words out. “Twice.
    I slept with her twice.”
    Disapproval seeped into his father’s eyes, making Adam feel lower than the dirt beneath his feet. “Were you ever going to tell Emma?”
    Adam shook his head. “I don’t want to hurt her.”
    “So you’ll marry her with that secret between you?”
    Adam turned around. Scrubbed his hand over his face.
    Sleeping with Ashley had been a mistake. He knew it at the time, but he was in rebellion and didn’t care. He never thought about the consequences, other than making sure he didn’t get her pregnant. Before he returned to church, he confessed that sin. Privately . He never wanted to think about it again.
    Suddenly he felt his father’s hand on his shoulder. Adam turned around. “What?”
    The disapproval in his daed’s eyes disappeared, replaced with sadness. Or was it sympathy? Adam couldn’t tell. “If you’re going to marry her, you have to tell her.”
    “I have to protect her,” Adam said. “I promised I’d never hurt her again. I intend to keep that promise.”
    “Then you made another mistake. Never make a promise you can’t keep. When you love someone, and live with someone, you will hurt her, whether you mean to or not.”
    “Like you’re hurting Mamm ?”
    The frown reappeared. “We’re not talking about your mamm and mei .”
    “Maybe we should.”
    “So we can avoid talking about you and Emma?” His father shook his head. “You’ve proven to me you’re not ready to get married. Everything is not clear between you and Emma. If you believe you can keep this secret forever, you’re wrong. It will come out. If not now, then later on down the road. How will you face her when that happens?”
    “I’ll deal with it when the time comes.” Adam was making his father’s point, and he detested himself for it. He leaned against the fence post, his head down. “If I tell her, I could lose her.”
    His father didn’t say anything for a moment. Finally, he spoke. “Maybe. You’ll have to take that risk. If you don’t tell her and she finds out, you’ll lose her eventually.”
    “That’s not