Free Beyond Broken by Kristin Vayden Page B

was…
    We walked down the hall that led away from his room and toward the courtyard. A few nurses smiled as they passed, all dressed in their khaki skirts or pants with polo shirts discreetly carrying the Willow and Oak label. . The hall was open and bright from the large picture windows allowing in the bright sunshine of the early afternoon.
    “Damn, it feels good to be out of that room.” Greyson’s tone was more relaxed than I had heard it. He strode beside me, measuring his steps to keep pace with my own.
    At the glass door that opened to the courtyard, he took two quick steps ahead and swung it open for me.
    “Thanks,” I mumbled as I tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear.
    “Of course.”
    Outside the sun shone brightly. As I paused to wait for Greyson to catch up, I watched his face. As soon as he stepped from the shadow of the building he halted his steps and closed his eyes, tipping his face to the sun.
    “Damn. I missed this.”
    “The sunshine?” I questioned, a small smile tipping my lips.
    “All of it. You forget.” He breathed deeply and opened his eyes, striding toward me and then waiting for me to catch up with him. “The drugs… you become so consumed by them, by getting your next hit, that you forget about enjoying the smaller things. You know?” He glanced at me and I nodded.
    “How so? Tell me about it.” We walked off the patio and onto the lush grass.
    “If you’re not high on it, then you’re consumed with worry over when you’ll be able to get your next bump and fear that you won’t get it in time. Everything else is just blocked out completely. When you’re on your hit, then, at least in my case, I worked. I kept myself absorbed in my company and what needed to be done for it to be successful, for me to prove myself.”
    “Either way you lived in fear.” I watched him.
    His clear gaze clouded over. Finally, he gave a slow nod. “Yeah, actually. You live in fear. And it swallows you whole.”
    “But now?” I questioned.
    “Now… now I try to live. Survive without the drug. The problem is…” He paused next to a tall oak tree, leaning against the fat trunk.
    “Yeah?” I stopped in front of him.
    “You forget how,” he whispered, staring at the grass then focusing on me, a tormented expression twisting his features.
    “That’s why you’re here. Because that’s the detox for your soul. Your body, it has to rid itself of the poison of the drug, but so does your heart. Greyson, it needs to detox just as desperately.” Everything in me wanted to reach out, to offer a comforting pat on his shoulder, give him hug, but I didn’t. Greyson’s distance from addiction was so narrow that he’d easily and unknowingly attach to whatever created a safe or pleasurable feeling — anything or anyone.
    I didn’t want him using me to replace the drugs. Already I was worried that I had given him too many quick answers to his questions. Also, I didn’t want my attraction to be evident, and touching would ignite my own feelings. Ones I didn’t want him knowing or responding to.
    “Yeah, you’re right. Don’t get used to hearing that for me though.” He pushed off the tree trunk and started walking again.
    I giggled. “I seem to remember hearing those words before… I’m betting I’ll be hearing them again,” I teased with a raised eyebrow.
    “Damn, you’re hard on my ego,” he joked, reaching over and pushing me gently.
    “No, I’m just keeping you in check,” I shot back. His teasing shove was provoking. All I wanted to do was push back, but I hesitated. Everything I had been doing could be considered flirting and I wanted, needed, to draw the line somewhere. Even if my emotions were less than controlled around Greyson, I still had to draw a line in the sand. It was as if my heart had overruled my head completely. And though I knew the ugly, miserable side of addiction, my heart wasn’t willing to believe that about Greyson. But deep down I knew I was playing