Free Tank's Property by Jenika Snow

looking into her eyes.
    “Your father was a piece of shit, and even if he stopped hurting you after I beat his ass, the damage he did was already done.” The pain on Tank’s face was so tangible she felt it double with her own. “I should have just enjoyed the moment.”
    She smiled, but it was forced, sad. “You have nothing to apologize for. I’m the one that’s screwed up.” She looked down at their conjoined hands, and moved her gaze over her partially exposed forearms under the oversized sleeves of the shirt. She could see the cigarette burns marking her flesh, remembered the pain of being pinned down while her drunken father put out his cigarettes and cigars on her skin. Closing her eyes again she hated that it still affected her, that it was still so fresh in her mind.
    And it probably always will feel that way.
    “He used to tell me he loved me as he burned my skin.” She didn’t know why she said the words, because Tank already knew. He knew everything about her, all the dirty, dark things she kept hidden from others. He was the only one she could stand touching her, holding her, and she knew it would always be that way.
    His touch is the one I long for, have missed so much.
    He was the only one she could trust herself with, could be herself with.
    “Shh, we don’t have to talk about that, Bunny.”
    She nodded. “We do, Tank. We really do, because I left you lying in the bed after you told me you loved me.” She was crying harder now, unable to stop herself. “It’s just,” she sucked in a breath. “It’s just, you said that you loved me, and instead of me saying it back, feeling it in the purest sense, I just saw my father over me, pinning me down, burning me with his cigar as he told me how much he loved me.”
    He smoothed his hand over her face, and she squeezed her eyes tight enough lights flashed behind her closed lids. He pulled her in for a hug, and she just let him hold her, absorbed the feelings of having him close to her again. Bunny breathed heavily, feeling all that tension leave her at Tank’s touch. He’d been the only one to calm her, to make her feel like she wouldn’t lose herself.
    And you left because you’re weak. You were a coward.
    Bunny pulled back and tilted her head to look at him. She felt out of control right now, and but had the sensation that being with Tank was what she needed, was what would make this all better. It was kind of fucked up, she knew, but she did love Tank, and being here with him now made the past fade away, just dissolve like it hadn’t happened.
    “Everything will be okay, Bunny,” he said softly and cupped one side of her face. “I know that’s why you ran, but I should have gone after you.”
    She shook her head again. “It wasn’t your responsibility to go after me, and it wasn’t your fault. I was the one too weak to face the good that was right in front of me.” They stared at each other for long seconds before she found herself leaning in just a little bit closer. The fire only Tank could bring out in her rose swiftly, and she clutched at his shoulders. Bunny knew she was rushing things, but right now she didn’t care. All she wanted to do was wash away the past, the time she’d missed out on, and be with the only man she’d ever loved.
    “Bunny, baby, what are you doing?” His voice was deep and husky.
    “I’m being reckless, selfish, and just wanting to forget about what I’ve missed out on and be with you,” she whispered that all on a breath, looking him right in the eyes, and hoping her didn’t turn her down.
    He has every right to.
    Yes, he did, but she could see he cared about her still, could see he wanted her.
    She saw him glance down at her mouth, and she licked her lips as if she had no control over the act. Bunny couldn’t hold her emotions in check when there was all this sexual chemistry, all these memories swamping her, coursing through her veins, her very cells. It was like a living entity between them,