Free Surviving Scotland by Kristin Vayden

from my bed. My mind continued to spin from Ioan to my inability to remember anything of my past for certain.
    More often than not, my mind would dwell on Ioan. His behavior puzzled me. The annoying friend I had come to tolerate had become much more, but I wasn’t sure what. Who was the real Ioan? The man I followed into the forest, whose silent footsteps captured me before I had a chance to escape? Or was he the honorable one who was going to take blame for my own disobedience? Perhaps it was the one who chased me through the woods, sword fought, then almost kissed me. I sat before the dying fire and dropped my head to my hands. What scared me was that I suspected that he was all of them: the warrior, the compassionate friend, and the tease, but also a lover. That combination would surely prove fatal to the already crumbling walls around my heart. Oh, why couldn’t he have simply stayed annoying? At least then I’d be able to fall asleep without knowing I’d dream of his face, once I succumbed to the darkness.
    With a heavy sigh I rose, then paced to the small window and gazed out. The moon was full and offering generous light over the keep courtyard. I watched two guards pace the perimeter. What were they guarding against? Were the Jacobites that close? Perhaps I wasn’t as safe as I thought. The idea sent a shiver through my body and I walked back to bed, accepting its warmth. I closed my eyes and resigned myself to the dreams I knew would come. Ioan.
    ****
    Morag had suggested I resume all my tasks as lady of the castle, and I readily accepted, thrilled to have a purpose. She explained my duties, and demonstrated when needed ‘til I was certain I could manage on my own. I began with the kitchen and helping Ana plan the menu. I learned about bannocks, potatoes, oats, and, of course, haggis. Ana was patient as she explained what needed to be done. After we finished planning, she gave me a concerned expression before approaching an issue.
    “There’s been a fuss between a couple o’ the women since Ioan returned. I think ‘tis best ye settle it.”
    “Oh? What exactly is going on?” My heart thudded in my chest at the mention of Ioan. I hated myself for the jump in my chest at the simple mention of his name, and the jealousy that burned in me just thinking of other women chasing after him.
    “Well, ‘twould seem that they both have an interest in the lad, and have taken ta rather extreme measures ta outdo one another. Let’s just say that the work that’s being done is no’ ta the keep, but mostly ta the lad’s room and the womens’ personal appearance.”
    “Ahh, so what do you suggest?” I tried to remain calm outwardly, but the thought of those two women in Ioan’s room set my blood to boiling. I gripped my skirt in my hand and twisted it.
    “Well, ‘twould seem wise ta give ‘em different assignments.”
    “Like?” I glanced to her as I picked up a basket and placed it on the wooden countertop.
    “Perhaps laundry or kitchen scrubbin’.” Was that the worst she could come up with? I was thinking mucking stalls or something of the like. I twisted my lips but nodded.
    “I’ll introduce ye. I woulda taken care of it meself, but ‘tis better comin’ from the mistress.”
    “Aye.” I followed her down the hall and up the stairs where I heard women laughing, and Ioan’s voice rumble. Jealousy speared me, hot and unforgiving. My heart shuddered at the thought of Ioan’s affection belonging to someone else. But after my initial reaction, I was simply angry. Angry at the women for flirting with Ioan, and in his room no less! And angry at Ioan for, once again, playing me like a fool and making me like him more than I should. Finally, I was angry that I had to be self-controlled and address the situation without losing my temper.
    Ana gave me a glance and gestured to the open door. I squared my shoulders and took a deep breath, then walked inside.
    “Ioan, please? Ye promised me!” A fair