Free Holding On by A.C. Bextor Page B

thought really does scare
the shit of out me.
    Gunner tugs on the back of Hems cut
then pats his shoulder to pull him out of his angry state.
 Gunner still scowling at me, but at least he’s calming
Hurricane Hem.  I am thankful for him right now, scowl or
not.
    Hem backs away with his hands up in
disgust and surrender.  “We aren’t done talking, Sis.
 This isn’t over.  Gunner, let’s ride.”  Gunner
follows him like a puppy dog looking for his next chew toy.
 
    They call him Gunner cause he insists
on riding in the back of the riding chain as the tail gunner, but
looking at him now, he not only rides behind them, he friggin’
follows them in every aspect.  Haven’t ever really had a
conversation with the man, but seeing that he hates me now I won’t
have to worry about him and I catching up later to talk about the
weather.
    After Hem walks out of the
room, Shame turns to me.  Touching my face, shoulders, and
back.  Again, always checking to see that I’m alright. “I’m okay Shame,
I’m fine.  Nothing a few hateful words from my brother to just
make my day brighter.”  The tears that I have been holding
start to fall and Shame swipes them with his thumb.
    “ You can’t go back to him
now, Mace.  You know this right?”  He’s looking at me
questioning what my answer to this will be.
    “ Yes, I do have to go
back.  There are things left unsaid between him and me.
 I owe him an explanation and he owes me one for these
pictures, as well as his reaction yesterday.  I can’t just
never go back there.  He’s my finance.  I love
him.”
    I do, don’t I?  Even after seeing
the pictures there, scattered on the floor, I can’t convict him
without further evidence he’s dealing with the Angels.  Can I?
 I’m so confused.
    “ If you’re going back, I’m
going with you.  You are not his, not after what happened last
night.  You’re not going back to belonging to him, Mace.
 It is not happening.  I can’t send my kid sister into
that place knowing the anger he has for Hem and I, he has anger for
you too Mace, a fuck of a lot of it.  You saw his face
yesterday; you know the fucking fury that was coming off of him.
 This may blow over kid, but until it does and we have a
logical explanation about these pictures you are staying here, with
me.”
    “ Your kid sister” I mumble
not thinking he can hear it.
    “ Your kid sister?” I
repeat in my snarky tone. Well good, now I’m finding my voice
again.
    Shame whips his head
around to me, starts to speak, and then closes his mouth.
 Good option, pal.  
    “ You don’t get to put your
tongue in my mouth then call me your sister a handful of days
later.  I’m either your sister or I’m not Shame.”
    “ Stop, just wait.  I
didn’t mean it like that.  I was saying…I…”  He’s trying
hard compose himself and not stutter.
    “ Saying
what exactly? You still view me as a child don’t you?  You
still think of me as that sad little girl from prom, poor poor
Mace. Her date cancelled last minute so you felt sorry for me and
carried me away and saved the day.  I don’t need saving , Shame.  I
may not know exactly what I need or who I need, but it’s not you!”
 
    We are standing alone in the common
area of the compound and after Hem’s reaction to my presence this
morning I really just want to leave, not sit here with Mr. Mood
Swing and dwell on heartbreaking memories of the former sap,
teenage Mace.
    “ Hem, he really didn’t
tell you did he?”  He’s smirking now and it adds to my
exasperation.  That damn lip ring staring at me
again.
    “ I really thought after
all these years he would have told you about it, that night I mean.
 He was so pissed at what I had done, yet the man still kept
his word and didn’t tell you, even all these years later.
 That’s funny.  All this time, you never found out about
that night of your Junior Prom.”  He’s chuckling now and I’m
growing impatient.
    “ Tell me
what?