Free So Much More by Kim Holden

conversation, it would have been more convincing. “You’re not scared of anything. I may not know you well, but I know enough. You’re researching life for fuck’s sake. You’re engaged in it. You give new neighbors mangos when they move in, and you help the lady next door when her pipe breaks, and you give strangers hugs on the beach. You’re not scared.”
    Her hand moves up and down my back slowly; it’s soothing like the waves. “That doesn’t mean I’m not scared.” Her voice is raw. This is her being real, baring a piece— a very private piece— of herself to me.
    “Why do you give free hugs at the beach?” I ask. I have a feeling her voice won’t change.
    “It started out as part of my research.” She takes a deep breath. “Because everyone deserves love. A hug is a display of love that begins on the physical end of the spectrum but bleeds into the emotional end of the spectrum if you let it, if you give into it. It’s the most innocent, pure form of physical human connection there is. It only takes two willing people, who don’t even have to know each other, to participate. Two willing people who want that exchange. It’s so easy, but there are people who never get them. People who never get them ,” she repeats softly, it’s a confession.
    The confession breaks my heart and prompts my next question. “You said it started out as part of your research, which leads me to believe that your hug research ended or it morphed into something else. So, why do you still do it?”
    “Because, it reminds me I’m not alone.” There’s sadness and fear in her voice, something I cannot, and will not, ignore.
    I turn and don’t hesitate to fold her into my arms. “You’re not alone,” I whisper. She doesn’t hesitate in wrapping her arms around me. I picture her in my mind holding Kira on the beach. I know what this embrace looks like, because I’ve seen this display, and it feels every bit as loving as it looked. It’s strong, all-encompassing, and accepting on the outside and sweet and gentle on the inside. I feel her muscles flex because they take this seriously. I feel each inhalation and exhalation transfer peace and calm from her body to mine. Physically, I’m much bigger than she is, but she surrounds me with her being. With her energy. I hug my kids several times a day, but it’s been years since I hugged an adult. Miranda was never much of a hugger.
    When we part, perhaps a minute has passed, and Faith smiles at me through teary eyes. “Thank you. You might need your own sign.” She sniffles through the smile and points at me. “People are definitely missing out. You’re good.”
    That makes me smile. “Oh yeah?”
    “I’ve hugged a lot of people, Seamus. You may have just dethroned and taken over the top spot.” Her eyes tell me that was both truth and compliment.
    I nod, and I want to tell her that aside from my kids, because their hugs are some of the most cherished things in my life, her hug was the best hug I’ve ever experienced.  
    The best .  
    I didn’t know people could hug your soul with their soul.  
    Faith can.

He’s not perfect anymore

    past  

    “Mrs. McIntyre, there’s an urgent call from Seamus’s school. I think you should take it,” Justine, my assistant, says from the doorway of my office. Her voice sounds urgent and concerned.
    I don’t have time for urgent or concerned. “Take a message,” I command.
    “It’s Seamus. They’ve taken him to the hospital.” I look up, and she’s piercing me with her eyes. She’s always direct.
    I sigh. The first thing that runs through my mind is, I’m going to have to leave work early and pick up the boys from daycare. And I don’t even remember where their daycare is. Goddammit, I don’t have time for this. “Put the call through,” I huff.
    “Mrs. McIntyre? This is Janet.” She says it like I’m supposed to know who Janet is.
    “I don’t have time for chit chat. What happened?” I say while