Free When You Were Mine by Rebecca Serle

of my chest. I can’t believe it’s the second time he’s told me that. It’s almost like he thinks it’s true or something.
    “So do you.” He laughs, and I cringe. “You know what I mean.”
    “I do,” he says. “Oh, these are for you.” He pulls a bouquet of roses out from behind his back. “Your favorite,” he says. “Roses for Rose.”
    I take a deep breath and then will my feet to move toward him. He hands me the flowers and then pulls me into a hug. It’s brief, but the smell of him is overwhelming. Apples and soap, just like always.
    “Sorry I’m late,” he says.
    “We didn’t set a time,” I say. “You can’t be late.”
    “I guess I wanted to see you sooner.”
    I set the flowers inside and close the door, then walk with him over to the car. He opens the passenger door. It takes him a few tries to get the handle, and when he does, he laughs nervously. “Been meaning to fix that.” Inside his car still smells like pine. It has smelled this way since we picked up a Christmas tree last winter. For some reason we decided it would be a good idea to shove it into the backseat instead of strap it to the top. There’sthis place by the water that sells them. The trees, I mean. I’m surprised the smell has clung on through the summer, even if we were still finding pine needles in May.
    “So how was day one?”
    “Pretty good,” I say. “The usual. Except AP Bio, which is ridiculous.” I make a move to hike my knees up onto the dashboard but stop myself. It feels wrong to be that casual tonight.
    “Mrs. Barch?”
    “Mhm.”
    “At least it will look good on that Stanford app.” He takes his hand off the steering wheel and runs it over his forehead. Stanford is Rob’s dream too. We’ve planned on it since we were kids.
    “Even if I flunk?”
    Rob takes his free hand and reaches over to tap my knee. “You never flunk. You’re Rosie.”
    “Guess who’s back?” I say, remembering I haven’t told Rob about the newspaper article yet.
    “Eminem?”
    “Funny. No. Juliet.”
    Rob frowns. “Your cousin?”
    “Exactly.”
    “Wow. How come they’re back here?”
    I shrug. “I dunno. I haven’t asked my parents yet.”
    “Didn’t your parents have a falling-out with them?”
    I nod. “Yeah. I mean, I don’t think I’ve seen Juliet in a decade.”
    “Me either.”
    “Well, obviously.” I poke him with my elbow, and we both laugh. It makes me relax.
    We drive in silence for a few minutes. I think about reaching over for his iPod, but I don’t. I don’t want this to be like any old Wednesday night. I don’t want this to just be Rob and Rose, hanging out. This is a date. It has to be different. And just like I can’t recline my legs up on the dashboard, I also can’t be in charge of the music.
    “You want to go to Bernatelli’s?” he asks, breaking the silence. Bernatelli’s is this Italian place by the water that our parents are really into. I’m surprised Rob wants to go. The only thing I’ve ever heard him say about it is that Domino’s pizza is better. I don’t bring this up, because it seems like a good date spot and tonight is about things being different.
    “Sure,” I say.
    He doesn’t say anything, and I’m suddenly acutely aware that we are alone together. We’ve been alone hundreds of times before. Thousands, even. But this is the first time I’ve ever noticed. I cave and fiddle with his iPod and put on some music. I don’t even know what’s playing. Not like it matters. My ears are still humming their own speedy rhythm in time with my racing pulse.
    I open my mouth, but I’m not sure what to say. There doesn’t seem to be anything remotely unimportant to say. It’s like the second he put his knee on mine this morning, or even maybe before that, maybe when he put his hands on my face in May, he annihilated everything trivial. All the stupid stuff that used to make up our friendship, like whether Jason was a good kisser or whether Rob really looked as