Free Woman on Fire by Amy Jo Goddard

explore or share your story?
Testimonials and Witnessing
    There are many events that have succeeded in giving people the space to actually speak about their violations—the “unspeakable things”—publicly. Take Back the Night (TBTN) is an event that uses the testimonial model to give survivors of sexual assault and abuse a platform where their stories can be spoken and heard. I cofounded Take Back the Night at New York University in the nineties and have attended many TBTN events over the years. I have seen the profound impact storytelling has on both the people who speak and the listeners. I’ve seen many people tell their stories for the very first time because they felt supported to do it, a first step in their healing process: witnessing.
    I’ve also seen people who tell their stories over and over, year after year, wearing them as badges of honor. In these cases, the act of storytelling ceases to be empowering. A person can begin to identify so strongly with the role of victim that it keeps them in a perpetual state of victimhood that does not allow for growth. Your story may need to be processed further and retold. Tell it as many times as you need to work through it, but at some point, boldly redefine it so your story can change to one that empowers you.
Perform It
    The Vagina Monologues
is a play that has been very popular for more than twenty years, produced all over the world. I believe its popularity stems from the fact that it breaks the silence about our sexual bodies and the history that goes with that oppressive silence. It dares women to utter words like
vagina
and
cunt
with pride, tell stories they’d never dared tell and to do so with confidence—even if the stories are not their own. The actors almost always connect with something personally in each monologue. Often the experience of revealing these stories theatrically gives the actors more courage to tell their own stories.
    I traveled for years teaching workshops around
The Vagina Monologues
and V-Day events (designed to raise awareness about sexual violence at Valentine’s Day), in which I got people talking about the issues raised in the play. My favorite workshop was “My Own Vagina’s Monologue,” in which I helped women write their own version of their vagina’s monologue, giving them a platform on which to tell it—which most of them welcomed. It is a courageous act for any woman to break her silence about her own sexual body and herstory.
    Today one of my favorite and most recommended storytelling events is Bawdy Storytelling, organized in several U.S. cities by Dixie De La Tour, in which real people tell real stories about sex, relationships, desire, and the body. It is powerful both to witness and be witnessed in the humor, pain, frustration, angst, and celebration of our sexual stories. There are other similar events too, so if one comes to your area, go. It’s a treat.

    MY OWN VAGINA’S MONOLOGUE
    Write a monologue from the perspective of your own vulva/vagina. What would she say? What does she want us to know?
    Try freewriting using any or all of the following prompts:
My favorite word for vagina/vulva is . . .
My vagina/vulva desires/craves/wants . . .
I want more than anything for my vagina/vulva . . .
My connection to my vagina/vulva is . . .
My vagina/vulva makes me feel powerful because . . .
When my vagina/vulva heals, I will . . .
An important memory I have about my vagina/vulva is . . .

PILAR’S JOURNEY TO HER SEXUAL VOICE
    Pilar was an accomplished woman from the Caribbean. When she came to work with me she told me what many women do: that she had done a lot of self-development work and felt powerful in her life and as a businesswoman in so many ways, yet she had not tackled her sexual power. It was time.
    When I started this work I had no sexual voice—I was unable to express my wants and needs in