Free Beat (The Beat and The Pulse #1) by Amity Cross Page A

far as it would go, locking
myself in. Then I stripped, tossing the clothes marred by his touch to the
floor.
    After all the shit
I’d been though in my life, I didn’t know what I deserved anymore. All I ever
knew was loss and if Ash had rejected me any more bluntly than he just did,
then…I didn’t know what. Better to not know. Ignorance being bliss and all.
    Ducking my head
underneath the spray of water, I let it wash away all traces of sweat and
humiliation, hoping that would be enough to get the fuck over it.

 

 
    Chapter 12
    Ren

 
 
    I managed to sneak
out of Beat the next morning before Ash showed up.
    I knew all about
rejection, but his stung the worst. I lay awake most of the night wondering
what the hell was wrong with me. Wasn’t I pretty enough? Wasn’t I fit enough?
Was it because I was the Coach’s daughter? Was it because I wasn’t easy? Was it
because I was damaged? I couldn’t figure it out.
    In the end, I closed
my eyes and decided that I'd dodged a bullet. Ash obviously had issues and by
our powers combined…I didn’t know if I had the strength to deal with his
problems as well as mine. Someone would get hurt and it would probably be me.
    I turned up at the
cafe at seven like Joseph asked me to and Seth spent the half hour before
opening showing me the ropes. He was kind and patient and explained everything
down to the wire. Unlike the guys at Beat, he was extremely easy to talk to.
They got me to clean tables and take orders out to customers, nothing that
required rocket science, just vigilance.
    By the time Josie
came in, I was getting right into it and all thoughts of Ash had simmered down to
a dull roar. This job thing was a great idea. It got me out of Beat and away
from everything that was slapping me around the head. Dad, Monica, Ash… It was
my own private space.
    “Hey,” Josie called
out, the bell over the door ringing at her abrupt entrance.
    I leaned on the
counter and smiled, feeling a little frazzled. “Hey.”
    She dumped her bag on
our usual table and asked, “Everything, okay? How’s working with Seth?” She
gave me a suggestive wink.
    “God, leave it
Josie.” I rolled my eyes.
    She looked me up and
down with a raised eyebrow as I rubbed my temples. “Ash didn’t do something,
did he?”
    “He turned up last
night while I was training,” I replied, unable to keep it in any longer.
    “What? In the middle
of the night?”
    “Yeah,” I sighed. “It
was almost midnight.”
    Josie leaned over the
counter. “Did he come to see you?”
    I frowned. I didn’t
actually know why he’d come. Maybe he wanted to train like he did that first
night when I almost smacked him out with that cricket bat. Or maybe he did want
to see me. It wasn’t a secret I slept upstairs.
    Josie took my silence
as an admission. “ He did! ”
    “I don’t know,” I
hissed, glancing at Seth, whose back was turned at the coffee machine. “He
helped me out a little and-” I clamped my mouth shut.
    “And  what ?”
    I slapped my hand on
my forehead. “Shit.”
    “Ren, you keep
holding out on me.” Josie pouted. “Your entire life at Beat is like a soap
opera and I need my fix. No cliffhangers.”
    I sighed, not knowing
how to talk about guys to anyone. It wasn’t high on the priority list until
recently. “There was a moment…”
    She gasped, her eyes
widening in excitement. “An almost  kiss  moment?”
    Reluctantly, I
nodded. “The asshole dropped the facade for a split second, that’s all.”
    “ Ren .”
    “Don’t Ren me,” I
said with a tiny hint of a smile. “I’m embarrassed and totally mortified that I
let him get to me.”
    “Isn’t that the
point?” she asked. “To let him get to you?”
    I sighed. He’d get to
me and destroy me. I shook my head, no. I was still too delicate after Mum and
everything at the studio and if Ash’s rejection had been any more blunter than
it had been, then I wouldn’t be able to get over it.
    “He pushed me