Free Saving Maddie by Varian Johnson

brown eyes shook me to the very foundations of my soul. “If the girls in your youth group really want to start a praise-dance ministry, you should do it.”
    “But I—but my dad—”
    “Like I said last night, he’s just a man, Joshua. Just because he’s a preacher doesn’t mean he’s always right.”
    I focused on Madeline’s face, the way her mouth formed a straight, hard line, neither frowning nor smiling. She seemed so sure of herself. Just like Dad. Just like everyone—except me.
    “Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out,” she said as if she was reading my mind. “You just need to think about it some more.” Then she sucked in a deep breath and looked up at the trees. “I miss this. The quiet and the beauty. I alwaysfelt closer to God out here than I did in any sanctuary.” She squeezed my hand, her fingers finally warm. “I could never find any place like this in Virginia.”
    It was amazing how Madeline could be barreling headfirst down one course of thought and then come full stop and start talking about something else.
    “It is pretty, isn’t it?” I looked up; the pines stretched into forever. “I tried to come out here a few times, but I always felt weird. This was your place. I always felt like I was intruding.”
    “You never brought Jenn out here?”
    I shook my head. “She wouldn’t have liked it. She isn’t into nature.” I stared at Madeline as she leaned back, her face to the sky. I wanted to run my fingers along her cheek, down her neck.
    “Frank wouldn’t like this place either. Not enough noise.” I couldn’t stop looking at her neck. I suddenly wanted to know just how much of her body was covered in freckles.
    I took a deep breath. “Maybe you need a new boyfriend. One that’ll appreciate things like this.”
    “First of all, Frank’s not my boyfriend. He’s just a guy I like hanging out with.” She angled her gaze toward the shed—away from me—and slid her hand away from mine. “I don’t even like him that much. Intellectualism isn’t his strong suit.”
    My fingers were cold without Madeline’s hand on mine. “Then why go out with him?”
    She shrugged. “All Frank knows about me is that I’meighteen, I live with my aunt, and I work at a coffee shop. He doesn’t know that my father pastors the fourth-largest Baptist church in Norfolk. He doesn’t know I can quote almost any verse from the Bible. He doesn’t know I’d hoped to attend an Ivy League school in the fall.” She glanced at me. “To him, I’m just a girl who likes to drink a little beer, watch mindless teen comedies, and fool around.”
    “Don’t you want more?”
    “Like what? Clever conversation?” She nudged me with her elbow. “That’s what I have you for, right?”
    I turned away from her, my jaw stiff. Clever conversation. That was all she wanted from me. That was all I was good for.
    “You got quiet all of a sudden,” she said. “You okay?”
    I shrugged in response. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Madeline staring at me, but I refused to look back at her.
    We remained like that for a while, her staring at me and me staring at the back of my hands. First Jenn, now Madeline. The curse of the good guy strikes again.
    “Hey, I want to tell you something,” she said. She pushed my knee, forcing me to turn toward her. Then she repositioned herself in front of me, cross-legged. She brought her warm hands to my face and cupped my cold cheeks.
    It would have been so easy for me to lean my face toward hers for a kiss. All I needed was a sign— any sign.
    Madeline didn’t look interested in kissing me, though. Her lips were pursed together, almost in a frown. She didn’t start talking until I had locked eyes with her.
    “There’s nothing wrong with being a good guy, you know.” Her blackberry-sweet breath floated across my face and tickled my nose. “Good guys like you don’t belong with cynical, bitter bitches like me.”
    “You’re not a …” I cleared my