Free Saint Training by Elizabeth Fixmer Page A

fulfillment beyond the family scared her, too.
    “The ironic thing about your father’s reaction is that he hates censorship of any kind. But when it comes to feminist ideas, he’d love to keep me from thinking.”
    She paused and looked down at her watch. “We better stop talking or we’ll miss the whole quiet hour.”
    Mary Clare sighed. She pulled out a fresh sheet of paper. She felt a little guilty doing the opposite of what her mother suggested, but she had an image in her head that would be a dramatic beginning. She asked God to inspire her.
    WHAT A VOCATION AS A SISTER MEANS TO ME
    I like to imagine walking down the aisle for my wedding. I’m wearing a white gown and a long lacy veil. My spouse waits for me at the altar. My spouse is Jesus. I am marrying him by answering his call to become a nun.
    When Mary Clare completed her essay, the clock read 4:15. She couldn’t be sure that it was a winner, but she’d certainly used her imagination in writing it. Behind her she saw her mother sleeping soundly. She crept out of the room, careful not to wake her, and tiptoed up the stairs to check on the little kids. The kids had already released themselves from their rooms, and she found them playing in the backyard. Mary Clare returned to her father’s office and coaxed the book from her mother’s hands without waking her. She had to see what the fuss was all about. She sat on the floor and began to read.
    Mary Clare O’Brian
    188 Jackson Street
    Littleburg, Wisconsin 53538
    Sister Monica, Mother Superior
    Saint Mary Magdalene Convent
    1123 Good Shepherd Road Minneapolis, Minnesota 55199
    May 1, 1967
    Dear Reverend Mother,
    I have a question about the women’s liberation movement. Have you read Betty Friedan’s book The Feminine Mystique? I tried to read it but it was too boring. My mom acts like it’s a Bible. She has a whole bunch of corners turned down in it and she underlines things and puts exclamation marks in it. My parents fight about whether women should work or not and whether or not Mom should be happy as a housewife. Dad thinks Betty Friedan is out to destroy the family. Mom says Betty Friedan is just helping women wake up.
    I just wondered if you read it and what you thought.
    Sincerely,
    Mary Clare
    P.S. Why doesn’t Saint Theresa the Little Flower stand up for herself instead of always turning the other cheek?

8
    M ary Clare watched as her mother relit a half-smoked cigarette she had puffed on earlier that afternoon. She didn’t need to ask her mother why she was smoking only partial cigarettes, then carefully putting them out and relighting them later. Dad got paid on the twenty-fifth of each month, and by the twentieth her parents were down to rationing their cigarettes.
    This wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. Not when she was trying so hard to be a saint. Yesterday she’d even given up her snack from the Camp Fire Girls meeting. It was a brownie. She’d brought it home and divided it between Margaret and Martha. If God wanted her to be a saint and make all these sacrifices, He was supposed to be making her mother and father happy and sending enough money so that they weren’t struggling all the time.
    It was true that her mother wasn’t as depressed as before, but now she seemed angry. Angry and determined about something Mary Clare didn’t really understand. And nothing had changed about money. Mary Clare paused. Maybe God didn’t have faith in her. Maybe He thought she was too much of a sinner to become a saint.
    Whatever God was thinking, Sister Charlotte said she would get the results of the essay contest by mid-May. Once she won,she’d know for sure that God wanted her to be a saint. Maybe they would get rich all at once. Mom would answer the phone cheerfully, instead of saying a quick Hail Mary that it wasn’t a bill collector, and Dad would always have plenty of money in his pockets for meals out when he traveled.
    Mary Clare gazed out the kitchen window at the red tulips