Free Unbreakable: A Navy SEAL’s Way of Life by Thom Shea

what we would do differently from here on out, did I finally call home. I recall being rather nervous because I couldn’t hide things from Stacy. She knew me well enough to get, from my voice only, what I was going through and facing. I am glad for that. I think hiding from your spouse or keeping anything from them is the worst. So, as I dialed the numbers needed to bypass the foreign codes and country codes, I took a deep breath and waited. After five rings, Stacy picked up and excitedly said, “Hello. This is Stacy.” I swallowed and replied, “Hi, baby. We are back. Sorry I didn’t call earlier.” BIG PAUSE. Finally, Stacy said, “Something went wrong, I assume.” I said, “We are all alive, but two partners got their legs blown off.” BIGGER PAUSE. “Thom, remember what I said. I need you to come back to us. Do not fear dying. It makes you weak.” I replied, “Yes, Honey: I remember.” Stacy finally said, “I want you to do something for me, please?” I was shocked at her immediately aggressive tone. So I tried to divert the conversation by asking how the kids were. She snapped, “Don’t worry about the kids. I got them. Thom, I want you to kill as manyTaliban as you can. Do you understand what I am asking? I want you to promise me that is the only thing on your mind until you come home. Don’t worry about us; we are doing fine. Please say it out loud to me, right now.” I obliged. “Stacy, I promise to kill as many Taliban as I can,” I said. Oh, how a woman can set an Unbreakable Internal Dialogue in a man!
    With that, Stacy said, “Call us back tomorrow, when the kids are awake. I have to go now,” and hung up. As I moved away, I knew Stacy was sitting in bed crying, but I got her point. She would not tolerate me calling with fear or misgivings in my voice. I do like the way she negotiates.

    ADAMANTINE LESSON FOUR
    Creating Love
    JOSÉ ORTEGA Y GASSET
    “Love … is eternally unsatisfied. Desire has a passive character; when I desire something, what I actually desire is that the object come to me. Being the center of gravity, I await things to fall down before me. Love, as we shall see, is the exact reverse of desire, for Love is all activity … It does not gravitate toward me, but I toward it.”
    My daughter Autumn—I have some time and wanted to tell you how important it will be for you to be a great mom, when it is time, and a great wife, as you develop into a woman. This will be the fourth task I ask of you. After that mission the other night, realizing life hangs on a thread here, I feel this is rather urgent.
    Again, I will share with you my own successes and failures with relationships and women. Hopefully, your mom will fill in the gaps I may leave out. As you grow up, please lean on her when “woman development” situations arise.
    Let me begin by saying, the woman makes the man. Many people you meet throughout your life will lead you away from that fact, suggesting either subservience to a man, or doing your own thing as a woman. The latter is the going trend, which leads to the term, “a catholic marriage,” where each person leads separate lives yet are married on paper. Both suggestions are not worth the effort, and both lack in the knowledge and practice of using your own Internal Dialogue to create a connecting dynamic for your family, your husband, and for yourself.
    Use everything you have been given to create a connectionfundamentally rooted in one unique conversation: need to be
needed
as a way of life. You literally have to have your own Internal Dialogue to say, “I
need
him, he
needs
me, my family
needs
me, and I
need
them.” Any other Internal Dialogue will lead to smallness in your own achievements, your husband’s achievements, and your children’s development. You will
all
be less. And, Autumn, it is all in you and no other person.
    Stacy had a well-established, successful career in the investment business. She was living in Pennsylvania. I was living in San