Free Holiday Abduction (Alien Abduction Book 6) by Eve Langlais

damp boobs, but his solution. “Dude, you can’t just kill them.”
    “Why not?”
    “Well, because you can’t. I mean they’re just doing their job. Besides, won’t killing them be like declaring some kind of alien war?”
    His face turned pensive. “You might have a point. The galactic council would probably be most displeased if I annihilated Earth military forces. They’d probably put out a universe-wide call for my execution or arrest.”
    “Exactly.”
    “How many do you think it would take for me to kill before achieving such a splendid feat?”
    “Excuse me?” She gaped at him. “You can’t seriously aspire to being a wanted criminal?”
    “What warrior doesn’t? Do you know what kind of glory I would bring to my family if I single-handedly had your planet declare war on my kind?”
    “No.”
    “No what?”
    “No, dude. No war. As in no killing. As in tuck your gun away. We’ll have to sneak out of here.”
    “Are you seriously telling me what I may do?”
    “Yup.”
    “A female giving me orders?” Incredulity marked his reply.
    “Again yes. So stop giving me that face and think of a better plan, one that doesn’t involve killing the men outside this door who are just doing their jobs.”
    “You are ruining what could be a momentous occasion and a highlight in my career.”
    “I’ll blow you later in thanks.”
    “Why would you wish to eject air—” He stopped talking as she dropped her gaze to his groin. She licked her lips and then winked suggestively at him. “Oh, I think I understand your offer. Well, in that case...” He slid a tiny button on his weapon until it beeped and a blue light flashed.
    “What did you just do?”
    “Changed the setting from the laser setting to stun. I assume knocking them unconscious is acceptable?”
    “Much better.”
    “The things I do for coitus,” he muttered.
    Disgruntled as he sounded, Jilly couldn’t help a spurt of pleasure that he’d actually listened to her. Given his claims of how women were usually regarded, she considered it a positive feat he’d paid attention.
    What she didn’t consider so good, though, was the pounding on the door with the shouted, “Homeland Security. Open up.”
    Should they keep quiet and pretend the room was vacant?
    A fine plan except for the fact that Vile—once again wearing his John Smith glamour—swung the door open and said, “Hello. It seems we meet again. If you value your lives, and physical wellbeing, then I strongly suggest you lay down your weapons.”

Chapter Eight
    “If someone calls you a pirate or a thief, kill them. Or, if you’re feeling benevolent, or have cause to believe you might require their services in the future, correct them as to the correct terminology to use when referring to your professional title in the most painful method possible, of course. See Appendix Twelve for innovative ideas on torture.” – An excerpt from The Fine Art of Acquisition
    Why did Jilly groan at his request? Vhyl worded his request to the humans at the door quite politely he thought. So politely his mother would have cried in shame. His father would have beaten him. As for the Earth agents facing him in the doorway? They laughed.
    That wasn’t a point in their favor.
    “Nice try, bucko. We’re the ones giving the orders here. Put down your tiny pistol and come out with your hands up.”
    “What is it with you humans and commenting on the size of my weapon?” Vhyl turned his gun over in his hand before tossing it on the bed and raising his hands.
    “You too, Miss Carver,” Agent Farley added. “Get the cuffs out, men. We’re placing them under arrest.”
    “For what?” Jilly asked.
    “I don’t need a reason when we think homeland security is at risk.”
    Sidling to his side, Jilly kept a wary eye on the pair of soldiers entering the room. “What are you doing surrendering?” she hissed as she placed her own hands in the air. “I thought your plan was to stun them so we could